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"do you really think going to a hotel is safe? and what about the money? you can't spend that much unnecessarily," dan rambles, waving his hands all over to get his invalid point across to phil. phil just sighs, watching the raindrops pierce the windshield of the car.

"you are not unnecessary dan," phil simply states looking across at the paranoid boy, whose cheeks are flushed and eyes are wide as he taps his foot impatiently on the car floor.

"but phil," dan whines, not being able to come up with an appropriate argument. he just huffs and looks out of the window, watching the concrete turn black and sludgy as the rain continues to coat everything in it's way. it was already cold enough, there was no need for a semi-hail storm to make it worse.

"relax baby, we'll be fine," phil leans in and kisses his cheek, returning his attention back to the steering wheel. phil is freaking out himself. he has no idea if this is going to work for them, whether the police will come after them or not, whether dan's parents will ever understand his situation and leave him be. he doesn't know whether he can keep dan safe from those people or his suffocating parents, and he doesn't know whether he can keep himself safe from the hypothetical police.

what the fuck have they gotten themselves into?

phil just stays silent, not wanting to bother dan who is already worried enough. he looks across again, his heart constricting at the sight of dan resting his head against the foggy window helplessly, his eyes watering and his lips white from biting. he doesn't want to see dan this way but there is nothing he can do rather than reassuring him. phil is worried as well, as much as dan if not more. he doesn't know if he'll be able to get dan back if history repeats himself and he would surely not be able to live with himself if something happens to dan, again.

"dan?" phil's voice is soft, interrupting dan's anxious thoughts and he just nods his head, wanting phil to proceed.

"please don't be like this, i'm trying alright?" there is a growing lump in phil's throat and he is just so overwhelmed with everything that has been happening. he can't seem to find a release.

"i know phil, it's not your fault please don't blame yourself," dan looks across at phil who is clearly struggling to keep his emotions inside, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly and his legs shaking. dan hates to see phil this way, but there is nothing he can do about it. it's maddening how they both want to help the other but they can't seem to find a solution and it bothers dan that he can't do anything for phil while phil is doing everything for him.

"i'm sorry okay? i am just, i'm just scared," dan places a hand over phil's thigh, squeezing it softly in order to comfort phil and phil just nods weekly in response. why does everything have to be so hard?

"i love you, don't worry alright?" dan hopes that he can sum up everything in those three words as he leans forward and kisses phil on the cheek.

"i love you too dan,"

--
my family is a bunch of inconsiderate fucks and i just want to kms

dedicated to ultrcn the tri bork