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there was another knock on the door.

dan had stopped expecting phil to come back any soon, so he was just finding ways to avoid the hotel services until he could work out a way to pay for it. he just hugged his knees, waiting for the person to leave, his eyes watering yet again at the reminder of phil's betrayal. how dare he leave dan alone like this? stranded in a hotel with no money, no transport, nothing at all?

"i don't need anything," dan managed to croak out when the knocking continued, his voice sounded broken and strained. he had not spoken much in the past week and so it was normal for him to loose his voice almost completely.

phil stood outside the door, his knuckles tapping slightly against the wood. he had no idea how he was going to tell dan that they can't be together, or stop himself from kissing him. it had been a few minutes and dan had still not answered the door, even-though phil had been continuously knocking, and phil sighed, finally deciding to open his mouth.

"dan?" phil's voice was shaky, uncertain, like he was forcing to keep himself together as he rested his forehead against the door, all the energy seeping out of his body.

he could feel his heart beating insanely as he heard the sheets crumple, hushed footsteps followed by a slow twist of the door handle. the door opened, and phil stepped back from it, taking a deep breath before looking at the boy in front of him.

everything was suddenly slow, and his voice was stuck in his throat, unable to say anything.

here dan stood in front of him, his lean figure covered in nothing but phil's large sweatshirt, and a pair of boxers. his eyes were watering and his pink lips were chapped and slightly parted in shock.

"dan," he did not know what to say. how was he supposed to tell him that he only came back so they could part ways? he watched as a few tears slipped down dan's flushed cheeks, before he pushed softly against phil's chest and broke into sobs, turning his back against the blue eyed boy.

"how could you," dan's voice was strangled as he walked further in the room and flopped on the edge of the bed, wiping his eyes with the back of the sleeves, turning his head the other way to avoid looking at phil.

phil just sighed, swallowing the lump in his throat and walking slowly in his direction. his movements were hesitant as he sat next to dan, and reached out to place his hand on dan's shoulder, but dan just shrugged pushing his arm off sniffling in the process.

"no, don't touch me," his tone was hurt, angry and hostile as he got off the bed, ready to get away from the older boy who was causing a massive pain in his chest.

how could phil just come here all of a sudden and expect everything to be okay?

before he could go any further, phil's cold fingers wrapped around his wrist, pulling him back, and into his lap. his arms wrapped around dan's waist keeping him in place, and dan struggled in his grip, pushing against his chest harshly as tears continued to fall from his eyes, his vision rapidly blurring. phil held him, listening to dan throwing insults at him, and cursing him for leaving him alone. he was thrashing in phil's strong grip, wanting to hug him and slap him all at once, and was overwhelmed with the feeling of phil's warm body against him.

"i hate you," dan hiccuped, wiping his eyes desperately, and phil just pulled him closer, rubbing his back soothingly. dan finally gave in at the action, nuzzling his face in the crook of phil's neck as he moved to straddle him, wrapping his legs tightly around phil's waist.

they stayed like that for a few moments, phil's mind racing with incomprehensible thoughts as he buried his face in dan's skin, inhaling the sweet scent that he had desperately missed. dan's body was so warm and welcoming, and phil could feel himself breaking down after he finally found the comfort he was looking for.

"i'm sorry," phil mumbled in dan's shoulder softly, tightening his grip on the brown haired boy, and kissing his hair softly. he did not want to leave dan but there was no other choice. for how long could they keep running away from everything? it wasn't rational or safe for them to be in a relationship, harming each other constantly.

"we can't stay–" phil began but stopped when he realised that dan had fallen asleep. his heavy breathing was echoing in phil's ears and dan's body fell limp against him. he took a deep breath, pulling dan's body closer and laying back, running his fingers through dan's soft, slightly tangled hair to avoid thinking about anything but the beautiful boy in his arms.

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im sorry this story is so fucking long??????