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everything was back at square one.

they both were back at fake smiles and awkward silences as they sat next to each other on the dinner table. phil's mind was racing, constantly spotting the similarities that he had with dan's parents.

it was obvious that phil had caused dan pain, almost as much if not more that dan's parents by constantly breaking his heart. he hated to admit the fact that their relationship was toxic and dysfunctional and hated that they had to pretend that everything was okay when nothing was.

dan could feel it, the thick air returning, the atmosphere between them full of awkward tension. phil had stopped speaking, occasionally giving dan a hesitant smile and not holding eye contact for more that two seconds.

"you two could set up the christmas tree yeah?" phil's father's voice cut through both of their thoughts and dan turned his head slightly to look at phil who was aimlessly poking at the food in his plate, not really paying attention.

"um, yeah, we could do it tonight? or tomorrow?" dan mumbled, answering for both of them and phil looked up from his plate towards dan.

"tonight will be fine, tomorrow is christmas eve," phil's voice was slightly croaky, as he hadn't spoken much and dan just nodded in approval, directing his attention back to his plate of food.

"katherine will take out the boxes for you, this year we are actually going to have a christmas tree," his dad smiled at the older woman, who leaned in and pecked his cheek softly, causing dan's cheeks to heat as he looked away from the pair.

it was an hour later when phil's mother dumped a few small boxes full of ornaments and tinsel, in front of the giant box that contained the christmas tree. she offered help, but dan just refused out of politeness, assuring her that he and phil could manage.

soon they were left alone in the wistful living room, the lighting dim and phil leaning in front of the electronic fireplace to heat up the lumbered room. dan tore his eyes away from the older boy, slowly emptying the giant box on the wooden floor, adjusting the base of the tree in the corner next to a shelf, full of what looked like old books. dan picked up a few branches in his hands, examining the prickly plasticity of them, his eyebrows drawn in confusion.

"they are colour schemed," phil informed him, when he noticed dan's lower lip sticking out and a slight crease in his forehead portraying his confusion.

dan just averted his gaze to phil on hearing his voice, watching as phil got up from his spot in front of the fire, and brushed off his sweat pants, walking towards dan, and grabbing a branch.

"this one goes here," he said, adjusting the tip into the crevice, dan watching carefully how he did that. it didn't look that hard, only a bit time consuming as he looked at all the green stems littered across the floor.

twenty minutes passed by just like that, both of them working on opposite ends, not a single word leaving their mouths except from an occasional "where will this go?" from dan. dan could feel it physically, the tension between them, and whenever he looked at phil, the older boy just looked lost, deep in thought like something was constantly bothering him.

dan thought they were taking small steps towards being normal again, and maybe their relationship could be back, even if it was only for a while, but he was wrong. phil had suddenly stopped trying, like he had given up on them, on dan, and that bothered dan more than anything else.

"phil?" his name was out of dan's mouth without even a thought and phil just raised his head to look at the brunette boy, humming in response, his eyes blue and bright and pupils dilated from the faint lighting.

"i-i can't get this branch in, c-can you help me?" he blurted nervously and phil just nodded, sighing inaudibly before going over to where dan was standing, reaching forward and pushing the stem inside. phil was standing close to him, his lean fingers jabbing the fake plant inside, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

when he turned around to face dan again, their chests were almost touching, faces inches apart, dan hovering slightly over phil as the blue eyed boy looked up at him.

"um, do you," he began and dan could feel phil's hot breath hit his face. "do you need any more help?" phil asked, raising his eyebrows slightly but dan just shook his head, reaching up and pushing a strand of hair off phil's forehead.

phil's eyes fluttered slightly at the gesture, his eyes dropping shut and soon enough dan's lips were placed against his. he could feel it, the familiar warmth under his skin as dan sucked his bottom lip gently, his mouth hot and lips soft.

it was just like their first kiss except nothing was right between them. they were just two people taking forward the idea of a inadequate relationship and phil couldn't accept it. the fact that they were going to act like strangers the next morning again after being intimate this way.

there was no longer a meaning behind it and so when dan's hand travelled up to cup phil's face, phil just moved away, breaking their kiss and muttering an apology, refusing to look at the pained expression on dan's face.

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follow me on ig if you want???? @23.09.2016
(i've changed it to @riickyblitz now ok)

here is your reward for voting on the last chapter 🍿🍦