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phil lips are soft, pressing against a sensitive spot under dan's jaw, his arms wrapped tightly around the younger boy's waist as he pulls him closer, to the point where their hips are touching. dan just groans, tilting his head back and his eyes flutter close, fingers twisting in phil's hair, his teeth digging in his bottom lip because he doesn't want to be too loud.

when phil's teeth graze against his skin and he roughly grinds his hips against dan's, dan let's out a comparatively louder moan, his eyes flying open when phil pulls away and presses the palm of his hand against dan's mouth to shut him up.

"m-mum's still in the house," the older boy whispers, breathing heavy and cheeks pink and dan just takes a deep breath against his hand, a laugh threatening to break past his lips at phil's frantic face.

"sorry," dan mumbles instead, quietly against his hand and phil drags it away, placing it on dan's thigh and they make eye contact for a moment before they both burst out into a soft laughter.

"making out in the kitchen isn't a very good idea," phil mutters under his breath and dan just adoringly smiles at him, leaning forward and pressing his lips against the older boy one last time before hopping down the counter and taking a seat on one of the bar stools.

"so about the waffles?" dan raises his eyebrows at phil and phil just rolls his eyes at him, running a hand through his hair to fix them and bending down to check the cabinets for a hopeful waffle iron.

even after five minutes of thorough searching, phil does not find a waffle iron, sighing and plopping in the seat next to dan and groaning.

"this house sucks, if we were at my apartment we could have waffles right now," phil whines and dan just rolls his eyes at phil, nudging his elbow against him.

"we could go out?" the brunette boy bites his lip hesitantly, expectantly staring at phil and phil just diverts his gaze to him, giving him a small smile, and nodding his head.

"yeah that would be nice, you can go get freshened up and i'll ask mum if she needs anything as well," phil shrugs and dan nods, kissing phil's cheeks softly before making his way out of the kitchen.

half an hour later both of them are walking out of the house, dan clad in a knitted sweater and tight pants and phil in his newly bought 'space jacket' as he calls it, with his mum's grocery list in his jeans pocket. and even though a few minutes ago phil had dan on the kitchen counter, their lips moulded together, they were back to being distant.

things were getting slightly better, no doubt, because they tried engaging in small talk and occasionally smiled at one another. they had an on-off relationship going on right now and although dan hated it, hated how things were a indefinite case of hot and cold, he couldn't do anything.

they had to talk sometime or the other, about everything that has been going on and where they wanted to go from here. they can't forever stay in rawtenstall, avoiding their problems and pretending everything is fine.

phil just sighs, pushing his hands in his pockets, causing the grocery list to crumple slightly but it's better than to try and avoid the constant urge to reach across and hold dan's hand. he doesn't want to make things awkward between them so he doesn't test the waters, quietly walking next to dan, both of them not really talking much except for the periodic, infrequent discussion about nothing in particular.

when they reach a small breakfast cottage, phil allows dan to walk in first, and they take a seat into the isolated booths, both of them almost immediately ready for ordering. dan orders waffles as he originally planned and phil just orders a stack of pancakes, and they both order a beverage of their choice before the short waitress smiles and disappears.

they make eye contact a few times before completely looking away, phil contemplating whether he should break the overwhelming and slightly uncomfortable silence between them and opens his mouth a few times before closing it back shut each time, not knowing where to start.

he is tired of the constant irrelevant exchange between them and he just wants to clear things through and get to a final conclusion. he hates that dan still doesn't trust him, still thinks that phil will leave him without notice when it's not true. yes he wants to keep dan safe and yes the idea made sense to him that time but he cannot handle the fact that he is breaking dan's heart every time he does something out of 'love'.

he hates the middle-ground where their relationship lies and he hates that the fact that they can kiss but not hold hands and can laugh but can't have conversations. he just wants them to go back to normal and so he finally takes a deep breath before opening his mouth.

"so, i-i talked to mum this morning,"

--

dan's diss track..i'm not even going to make a comment

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