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phil was worried.

everything was going too well to be true. there were no phone calls, no threatening, no banging on their hotel room accusing phil of kidnapping dan. phil tried hard, ignoring it and convincing himself that maybe dan's parents have given up but somehow he could not accept the idea. the first two days went by fine, phil would constantly give himself a pep talk, assuring himself that everything is okay.

it was three days later when reality began striking phil in a tedious wave. this time it wasn't a subtle reminder of making things right. this time everything came crashing down in a mess of events and he didn't know why it was happening. it was just kind of an intuition that something bad was going to happen and it caused an ache in phil's head. the past few days had been tension-free and warm and comfortable, less paranoid thoughts entering his mind but today as dan lay in his arms blabbering about the problems he had to face due to left handiness, his brain just spaced out, focusing on nothing in particular but going to places where he didn't want it to go.

"and did you know there are no scissors made for left handed people? that is so fucking inconsiderate, isn't it?" dan vented, tilting his head to look at phil who was blankly staring at the ceiling, not really paying attention. it wasn't the first time it had happened. since the past few days somwhere in the middle phil would zone out and not answer until dan called him out, and even if he did, phil just smiled assuring him that it was nothing.

today it was different.

there was this worried look in phil's bright eyes, and his lips were in a tight line, his expression as blank as an untouched canvas. his grip on dan wasn't tight and protective, it was loose and tiring as if his arms had stopped working. his finger's weren't twisting dan's wavy hair, his hand was just resting still on dan's chest, and it worried him. so much, that he sat up straight, crossing his legs and facing phil.

"phil?" he softly called breaking phil's chain of thought and phil just shook his head once before looking at dan who was staring at him, with a frown on his pink lips.

"yeah?" phil's voice was almost inaudible. he was feeling so overwhelmed because there was this sudden wave of reality washing over him, destructing the small wall he had created around him and dan.

"what's wrong? you look like you've seen a ghost," dan placed both his hands against phil's  cold cheeks, which looked paler than usual, and his eyes were slightly haunting with how empty they looked.

"nothing, don't worry about it," this time phil wasn't even sure if anything was okay. and dan detected that. there was no reassurance in phil's tone as he pulled dan towards him slightly and dan climbed into his lap, straddling him.

"i am worrying about it, tell me what's wrong," dan demanded, brushing the hair put of phil's eyes and leaning forward to kiss the corner of his mouth. phil just sighed, shifting so he could sit up straighter as he was still lying down, and wrapping his arms around dan's back loosely.

"it's not important," phil took a deep breath looking away from dan's intense gaze and biting his lip harshly.

"phil," dan called, grabbing phil's cheek and turning his face so he could look at him in the eyes. "please don't shut me out okay? i've been watching you, you seem so stressed, please tell me. what is it?" dan's eyes were pleading as his thumb rubbed soothing circles on phil's cheek.

phil hesitated.

"is it about me?" dan asked again, his voice dropping a several octaves as he morosely stared at phil. he did not want phil to be this worried because of him.

"no," phil lied, averting his gaze away from dan once again, not being able to look at his caramel irises without spilling all the doubts brewing in his mind.

"phil," dan pressed, and phil just pushed him off his lap, getting off the bed and running a hand frustratedly through his hair, making them stick up in different directions.

"i don't want to talk about it dan," he muttered, rubbing his hands over his cold face to warm it slightly and walked over to his bags, pulling a t-shirt over his head.

"phil please don't do this," dan followed, taking fast steps towards phil as he buttoned his jeans and pushed his feet in his shoes.

"i just need some time alone dammit!" phil suddenly yelled, causing dan to retract and take a few steps back, a little scared of phil's harsh tone. his lips were parted and he wanted to say something, anything to stop phil from leaving but nothing came out.

"when will you be back?" dan quietly murmured, crossing his arms over his chest as he suddenly felt exposed wearing only his boxers. phil just looked at him with cold eyes, and dan's question was answered by the looming silence after phil had harshly shut the door.

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