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dan can already feel his cheeks heating as he sits on the red bedsheets, tracing his fingers along the satin fabric. the room is dimly lit, fragrant of vanilla and lavender and dan watches quietly as a bellboy places his bags on the couch in the other corner of the room. he is still embarrassed by the fact that they have to stay in the honeymoon suite, but the penthouses are always very expensive and he doesn't want to bother phil more than he already was.

after five minutes of sitting silently, dan finally looks towards the door to see phil entering and closing the door shut behind him. he looks a bit tired and anxious as he walks towards where dan is sitting and sits next to him, placing his hand over dan's knee.

"you okay?" phil's voice is soft as he ducks his head to look at dan, who is still looking at the floor out of embarrassment.

"yeah, it was just, it's really awkward," dan sighs, leaning against phil's shoulder, nuzzling his face in the crook of phil's neck.

"don't worry, it's fine," phil wrapped his arm around dan's shoulder, pulling him closer and kissing his forehead softly. he was somewhat relieved that they were away from home but that seed of doubt and insecurity was permanently planted in his thoughts.

"what are you thinking?" dan lifts his head off phil's shoulder and turns in his seat to look at phil. he looks tired, his eyelids look heavy, his face holds no sign of happiness and his body language is lethargic. he looks completely drained, like all the life has been sucked out of his perfect features.

"nothing important," phil manages to smile at dan, snapping out of his thoughts, trying his best not to bother dan.

he really wants dan to be happy again, because it has been so long since dan has genuinely smiled or has gotten any sort of rest from the constant events happening.

and same is for phil.

so much has been going on that there is no room for optimism, only paranoia and delusion is running through both of their minds, and they both just need a break. they need a distraction from this reality.

"just talk to me," dan pleads, wanting to know what's on phil's mind. he does not want to see phil like this, because phil's smile is his only escape and seeing him like this breaks his heart.

"dan, i'm fine, it's okay baby," phil places a hand against his cheek for the second time that day, but this time dan grabs it and drags it away.

"no it's not fine, i don't want to see you like this," dan is already overwhelmed with everything and watching phil brings him over the edge. he can feel a lump growing in his throat as he throws his arms around phil's neck, holding his body close and phil just sighs snaking his arms around dan's waist, pulling him closer. he can feel the ache in his chest dissolving with each breath dan takes against his shoulder, and with every second that he can feel dan's heart beating against his chest.

when they pull away after a long silence, their lips finally touch, and maybe that's the break they both needed.

--
someone pls date me i'm so lonely and desperate