Re-Adopted by Black Veil Brides

Reflected Pain

~Ashley's POV~

I park my car in the drive way. Opening the door quietly hoping to not draw attention. The dogs are outside so they didn't bark when I got in. I don't hear Audrey. She must be in her room. I walk to the kitchen and get a glass and fill it with ice. Opening a cabinet I find a bottle of Jack Daniels. I haven't really drank in a long time but if I'm going to tell Audrey I need something in my system. I pour the liquor into my glass.

I open the closet and see the box that I hid so many years ago. I hid it from myself to be honest. I couldn't function back then. I don't think anyone could if it happened to anyone else. I take the box and sit at the dining table. I take the lid off and all the memories scream at me. There's pictures of me and Laney. We looked so much in love. Baby shower invitations. Laney put those together she was always creative. A picture of her parents. They were okay. I knew they never approved of us but neither of us cared. 

Tears start falling from my eyes. I really let myself go after everything happened. I take the plush bear and hold it against my cheek. Andy got it for Audrey when he first found out Laney was pregnant. 

I drink from my glass and keep going through the box. There's a sheet of paper with baby names. I remember that night. Laney and I just sat in bed for the whole day. She was feeling sick but when she felt the baby move for the first time she felt better. It's crazy how I remember that. Is there something in that Jack Daniels? I just hope she's understanding about all I've done. 

~Audrey's POV~ 

Once Jinxx left Jared and I didn't know what to do. I was freaking out that I was going to get in trouble which I know I am. I've never been on Ashley's bad side before and I don't want to see it today. Jared was freaking out too but not as bad as me. He hugged me and tried to make me feel better. But I just knew I messed up. I told Jared he should go. I didn't want him seeing Ashley when he's angry. 

I went up to my room and sat on my bed. Just thinking about what Ashley is thinking. How mad he must be and how I'm such a disgrace. He'll never trust me again. I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to send me back to the orphanage. 

I'm just so frustrated now. Like why did I have to be so fucking nosey? Jinxx was right. I had no business looking through that box. I should've just left it there and never layed a finger on it. And I definitely should never had told Jared about it. I feel bad enough and now I dragged him into it. Will Ash still care about me after what I did? I invaded his privacy and he's never done that to me. I just feel so bad. I'm such a fucking terrible person. 

I look down at my wrists and see the scars. It made me feel better right? What's one more time? No one will know. Just one small cut. But what if it turns into a big one? What if I make a mess? What does it matter I've already made a mess already. 

I go to the bathroom and search for something sharp. I don't find anything so I run down to Ash's room and find a pencil sharpener. I pop the screw and run back to the bathroom and lock the door. Just like old times Audrey. I look in the mirror and see the old monster within me. Nothing but a fuck up. I cut a few small ones on my thighs. Didn't even brake skin. Come on Audrey don't fuck this up too! I do it again and again and again until I see blood. My skin red and the floor covered in red spots. I do it again but stopped when I hear the front door open. 

Quickly, i clean up and shove the blade in a drawer. I rush to my bed and hide under the covers. Wow I seem like a 6 year old who's afraid of the dark. If he tries to come in he'll think I'm asleep and will go back downstairs. I don't hear much for a while. Maybe he fell asleep or something. But then I hear his footsteps coming up the stairs. It stops at my door and I hear him sigh. Ash opens the door. 

"Audrey?" He whispers. Just pretend you're asleep he'll go away. But he comes closer to my bed. 

"Audrey wake up. We need to talk." Ash says sitting on my bed. Fuck. Just do it. I turn over and look into his eyes. 

"I'm sorry." I can't really say anything. It kind of feels like time is slowing down. Do you ever get that feeling? 

"You don't have to be honey."

"But I went through your stuff I'm so sorry please don't be mad!"

"I'm not mad Audrey. I'm just sad." He turns away but I see a tear forming in his eye. I take hold of his hand and he turns back. There's so much pain in his eyes. He looks down at our hands. At my scars. 

"Wait Ash why are you sad?" 

"Because... Because I put you through hell. Every reason why you've felt depressed is because of me." 

"What are you talking about? You're not making any sense." 

"Audrey there are things within the box you found that I wanted to keep away from myself and of course you. There are things I've kept from you but I've been meaning to tell you since I adopted you from the orphanage." 

"Like what? What do you mean?" 

"There were pictures in there of me and a woman. That woman's name is Laney. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. And the most kind hearted, spirited, accepting person I know. We had been together since we were 16. That picture then was when we were around 18. Soon after it was taken we found out she was pregnant. We were scared but actually really happy. I felt that in our hearts we would be great parents. But Laney went to the doctors and they told her that she'd have complications in her pregnancy. I didn't really know what that meant. But when she was in labor I knew. She gave birth to a healthy, beautiful girl. Soon after Laney...."

"Ash? What happened? Come on you can tell me." He just stopped and looked down at our hands again. 

"She passed away." Ash looked up and pure sadness was within his eyes. I'm sure it's the same sadness that Jared saw in my eyes. It's like our pain is reflecting off each other.

"I'm so sorry Ash. Really I am." I hugged him tightly. He held on to me like I held on to Jared. Maybe Ash understood my pain more than I thought. 

"I took the baby girl home. I didn't have my parents and Laney's didn't care for either of us. So I did the best I could at raising her. But the loss of Laney just weighed down on me. She was my soulmate, my everything. And she was gone. I started drinking heavily. I just got lost when I was drunk. And lost was how I wanted to feel to get away from the pain. Andy saw what it was doing to me and he suggested I put the baby up for adoption. I didn't want to but I wasn't in the best shape" 

Ash looked me in the eyes. Then turned away. He sighed again and turned back to me.

"You wanted to know what happened to the woman and the baby right?"

"Yea?" 

"Well you know about the woman. The baby is alive."

"Oh thanks god! That's great news! I was worried for her."

"Audrey...you're um....you're the baby." 

Oh shiiiit it went down in this chapter! I seriously hope you liked this chapter I'm so sorry I forgot all about this story a few months ago and I just dove right back into writing again. I feel like this story is coming to a close but if you want to give me more ideas then private message me. I know I want to write another chapter of this and then after idk what to do so if you want help me out lol 

Thanks again! Vote and comment por favor!