Always, My Jade

The Mess (3)

"Althea, nasan ka?" Batchi's worried voice in the line. "Sa dati bakit?" I said and added "parang may bago alam mo namang dito lang ako lagi d ba pag gusto ko mag pa antok" I can sense Batchi's smirk when she said "Malay ko hindi ka nagpapaantok ngayon, sabagay hindi ka naman sasagot kung pampagising ang inaatupag mo." She said and I just rolled my eyes.

"Don't drink too much tsong, I'm not there to pick you up and be sure to go home, nakausap ko na rin si Briggs at sila ng bahala sa'yo. Dapat kasi hindi ka na uminom eh, uutusan mo ako sa meeting dito sa Baguio tapos magpapakasarap ka diyan" reklamo niya. I just smiled and told her that I'll be fine and thank her for always doing the same thing every time I drink. Kahit sa pagalalsing ko nakaantabay siya at pag wala siya, she makes it sure that I'll be alright. I can't live without her. But sometimes I feel guilty, knowing na dagdag pa ako sa asikasuhin niya. She's my bestfriend, business partner and sister rolled in one. How lucky can I get.

I'm blessed to have Batchi. I tried giving her the full management of my business, many times, and many times she refused. She would always say that we're in it together, the company needs me, and for father's sake. That I have to keep it going for my parents, for the employees, and for myself. When dad died everything is a mess. Since then, and worse I choose to live in this mess. I constant myself to night life, waking up wasted and working only to be so unproductive most of the time and passing all the responsibilities to Batchi.

Until I guess Batchi's all fed up, woke me up of my senses and made me realize that I'm not just ruining my own life but also the life of the of people in my dad's company. And she's right, so slowly I make up for the lost times with the help of Batchi and the loyal partners of our Dad. But I was never in the front, I let Batchi and our business partners do everything, I was just in the background. Because I can't totally get myself back since Dad died.

The feeling of always alone, always left behind. I was so shattered and I can not make myself whole again, not yet. And I don't know if I could still.

Batchi understands and she promised to never leave my side as long as I am still around. So for the sake of Batchi, my other best buddies and the people who worked hard to keep our company, I tried every day to live and survive.

The bar is my sleeping pill, the countless one night stands are what keeps me awake.
The only things that make me sane, are of course Batchi, the road trips and the home for the aged.

Speaking of kamusta na kaya si Lola, I silently laugh inside, she got my handkerchief at pinasulat niya number ko para daw hindi madaling mabura, wierd si Lola. I haven't received a call from her, sabagay 2nd day pa lang naman.

I'm in the VIP room of this Bar na si Batchi ang nagsuggest para hindi na daw ako kung saan saan pumupunta and after a few more drinks I decided to go home, I'm a bit tipsy but I could still manage to go to my house. After paying my bill I walked straight to the door. I saw Briggs, one of the Bar's security already waiting for me at the entrance and asked "Kaya pa po Mam?"

He walked with me outside keeping not too close just enough to assist me anytime if needed, as I saw a taxi already waiting, he waved at the taxi and opened the door for me"Yup, kaya pa naman. Salamt, Briggs Sa uulitin". I said then before he closed the door he gestured a salute at the driver and said "Ingat kayo Mang Carding."

The man in mid 50's saluted back, said his thanks and look at me in the rear view asking "Saan po tayo Mam?"I smiled and say "Sa bahay po" and i can see him smiling back and nod.

"Kamusta na po panganay niyo Mang Carding" I asked while looking at the window. "Graduating na po, Mam. May mapapatapos na naman po kayo under ng scholarship program niyo Mam." he said with a proud voice and thankful expression.

"Scholarship po ni Dad" I corrected. "Na kayo na pong nagpatuloy" he butted in. I took a deep breath and let it out and I knew he noticed it and Mang Carding just glance at me with a look of concern. I've known Mang Carding and Briggs for months  now, thanks to Batchi, they are her eyes when she's not around for me.

Minsan iniisip ko mas kilala pa ako ni Batchi kesa sa sarili ko. Mas kilala pa ako ng mga tao sa paligid ko kesa sa akin.

Mang Carding's saying something about the traffic but I wasn't able to respond cause I felt my eyes is betraying me and I dozed off to sleep.

I was awaken by a call in my cellphone, Batchi. "Hay salamat sumagot ka rin, kanina pa ako tumatawag kaya." She complained "Nasa bahay ka na?" I looked around and found myself still inside the taxi with Mang Carding outside talking with someone on the phone.

"Oo nasa harap na ako ng bahay" massaging my head. "Nakatulog ka nanam!?Hay naku Althea tiyak sermon nanam si Mang Carding sa asawa niya baka akala ng beer house nanaman" I just shook my head and bid Batchi goodnight.

"Salamat sa concern Batch, call you tomorrow. goodnight" and I ended the call.

I got out from the car and went straight to Mang Carding na nagkakamot, "Si kumander ba?"I asked and he just nod. I asked if I could talk to her and he nodded and hand me his cellphone.

"Aling Remy, sorry po hindi po kasi ako ginising ni Mang Carding, nakatulog po ako kaya ayan po tuloy dpa po siya nakauwi" I apologized.

Konting kwentuhan pa then I bid goodbye to her, I returned the cellphone to Mang Carding and said "Naninigurado lang po na ako kasama niyo", I said with a little laughter. After handing him my fare which He refused because he already receives a monthly salary for the services he renders to me but I insist and he shyly took it. Masyado na siyang naabala at matiyaga and no amount could ever repay that. Just a simple thank you way. Siya na taga sundo ko sa ibat ibang bar na napupuntahan ko pag hindi ako nasusundo ni Batchi or ni Mang Gani.

After we bid goodbye I entered my house. I looked around and sighed. It's empty and silent. Yaya Sening must have left for her day off. I haven't told her that I'm coming home tonight. Yes aside from Batchi, my Yaya Sening and her family is also the reason why I'm still breathing. For them I'm part of their family, but when I'm alone. I felt that I don't have a home, this house has not been a home for so long.

I went up straight to my room, not bothering to change. I'm home but I miss home.