Insecurities

Chapter One

Baileys POV:

     I watched intently as my friends take in their new home. Being a "little rich girl" has its perks. My dad is able to get us a posh little flat that was big enough to fit my friends and I while we go to school and all that we have to do is make sure we keep up with our scholarships. Our cab driver insists that he is be able to pack all of our bags into the boot of his car on his own so the girls and I stood off to the side. Mels hand slipped into my own, she has always been so delicate and doe eyed. She reminds me of my old self, before the pain and before the extreme exterior renovation that I had put myself through. She's polite and to kind to ever speak what's on her mind, that's were I came in. I take it upon myself to always make sure she never finds herself in the same position that I had been in. Pulling out my pack of smokes I pull the insignificant paper stuffing combination and excitedly light it. The plane ride was long and the whole time all that I thought about was when I would finally be able to place the filter between my lips and breathe in the toxins. It's crazy to think that all of my day revolves around the life ender in my hand. I never thought that inhaling and exhaling smoke would be able to calm me down faster and much more efficiently then a bath or hot yoga but alas it does. I feel the knots in my shoulders unwind a bit as I exhale my first puff and I look at the stick in my hand smiling, my own way of thanking it for all that it does more me.

"You didn't live in London, right?" Sammy interrogated,  she had always been the one who was able to pull any information from me so it wasn't really a surprise when I told her some of my past, it was inevitable. Waving my hand in front of me to try and determine the way that the white cloud goes trying to avoid making it move towards my non-smoking friends.

"Nope." I stated enjoying their bright eyes.

"I've been here with my dad when he had meetings. Enjoy the tourist feeling while it last, soon we'll all be just as miserable as the rest of them." I look at the people swarming out of the airport, their mood seems to fit the weather, cloudy with a chance of down pour.

     Dumping my bags in the entrance I collapsed on the floor. Thank God there is a lift or I would've given up with the stairs on the second floor. Pealing my trainers off of my sore feet I don't move until the girls follow suit. Mollie strut across the bare living room doing some sort of abstract dance towards the bay window,

"How is she so happy right now?" I blubber my head leaning on the wall as I watch my odd friend. Rolling it towards the two girls in the same position as I was I watch as they both shrug. Sam is massaging her feet and I chuckle.

"I told you not to wear those damn high heels." she swats at my arm crinkling her nose.

"Guys, you should come see the view " Mollie chirps, a groan escaped all of us as we get to our feet.

"At least it isn't snowing. " She quips.

"Right, it's nap time then Bailey and I will go to the store to buy necessities." Sam ordered as she shoves us to our rooms.

    It felt like my eyes had only been shut for a moment when Sammy had abruptly disrupted my slumber.

"Get your lazy ass up or I'm dumping water on you." she says sternly. I had once tried to call her bluff only to find out that she was serious.

"Right, I'm up. You Canadians are so barbaric with your vocabulary." I joke as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes stretching out my aching back.

"Are Mollie and Mel still asleep?" If they are I am envious. I would love to be able to escape from my own thoughts for at least a little while longer but that's not how life works. We're all meant to soak in our own mistakes much like a bath. We sit in our own filth and wait for our skin to prune so we know that we've finally had enough.

"Yeah, I don't want to do any heavy lifting so we aren't getting that much. " Sammy states matter of factly, the girls always joke around saying that Sammy and I always act like a married couple. Samantha being the straight forward mum and I the go with the flow dad it was times like this I understand what they're talking about. Pulling my trainers back on I scribble a note to my sleeping pals reminding them of Sammy and I's plans.

     I pushed the trolley halfheartedly behind my morbidly chippy companion barely noticing what she was throwing in without any second guessing. I always admired how she was always so sure of herself, never seeming to care what people thought or having to do much work to be perfect but I had only recently found out that not everything is what meets the eye. She struggles with her grades, often having to stay up all night to keep up with our fast pace classes.

"All done here, lets get back before the beasts wake up." Obviously referring to the appetite the we all have, laughing I struggle to trail behind her with our heavy load.

"I thought you said you didn't want to do any heavy lifting?" Poking fun at the blonde in front of me.

"I also said that we were coming to get the necessities." She answered looking over her shoulder at me. Once our food was on the conveyor belt I watched as Sam checked everything off of her mental check list.

"Shit, stay here I forgot the butter." Running off before I could beg her not to leave me like a child. Eyeing the guy checking our items he seemed to be our age and he has a scar above his right eyebrow I recognize him immediately, my eyes trailed him as he continued on with his task at hand.

"Is that everything for you today?" He interrogated when he finally looked up at me. Shit, Samantha Henderwood if your arse isn't back here soon I am going to disown you.

"No, sorry my friend will be right back." Shuffling from foot to foot  awkwardly hoping that he won't recognize me.

"Sorry, do I know you." My eyes flicker to his name tag and sure enough in bulky black letters I read 'Kevin'.

"I don't think so." Keeping my answer short and scanning my eyes over anybody but him.

"I'm positive that I do. Your name erm, Bethany. Nope, Bailey." His voice raises in pitch and he snapped his fingers when he got it correct.

"Yup, that's my name." Popping the p, praying that Sammy would be back soon.

"Wow, it's so nice to see you again. You've changed a lot." I felt his eyes travel my body and could feel food trailing back up my throat as I gag.

"I'm back, I'm back. Sorry for the hold up." Samantha said as she ran to Kevin out of breath.

"No problem at all Miss." She smiles sweetly at him, if only she knew who stood before her.

"It was good to see you." Kevin calls out as we made our way to the exit.

"You know him?" She asked obviously intrigued.

"Keep walking, I'll explain later."