It had all happened so fast. It was like a blur, flashing before her eyes and before she even realized what was really happening, she was in the waiting room by the Women and Pediatrics' ward in the hospital that seemed so familiar yet she couldn't remember the name of it. She was across from Joe who had his hands buried in his hands, and Dallas who was holding a sleeping Marisol. And she knew it was all her fault that they were waiting inside of that hospital, waiting to hear the status on Nolie because Demi had let her have peanuts in her ice cream, the only severe allergy that she had. She didn't even remember Nolie being allergic to anything, which made sense, because she barely even remembered Nolie. But it was still her fault. She still could've asked or not even gone to get her ice cream at her. She should've known, she shouldn't have let Nolie order by herself. There were a lot of things that she just shouldn't have done and now her daughter was in the hospital because of it.
A loud sob tore through her throat and echoed throughout the room as Joe looked up in disgust, finally fed up. It was one thing for him to be broken but something in him snapped, when he had sped to the hospital and heard why his daughter nearly died. Her own mother had fed her peanuts, not even entertaining the possibility that she could be allergic.
"Shut up Demi," he hissed before burying his face back into his hands. He didn't care about Demi or her feelings. She had almost cost him his daughter, the only person that he really had left in this God forsaken world, and that was all that he could see, all that he could think about.
"Don't talk to me like that. She's my daughter too," Demi harshly wiped her tears away, narrowing her eyes at Joe who chuckled without an inch of humor in his tone, his look almost menacing as his eyes landed on her.
"It's your fault, it's all of your fault that she's in here, it's your fault that I feel physically sick just looking at you, it's your fault that you can't remember just because you won't allow yourself to! It's all of your fault!" Joe screamed, standing up and nearly flipping his chair over in his quick actions but Demi was quick to jump in and defend herself.
"I DIDN'T KNOW. NO ONE TOLD ME. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER THAT SHE IS ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS IF I COULDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THAT SHE WAS MY DAUGHTER? I KNOW PART OF THIS IS MY FAULT BUT YOU CAN'T BLAME IT ALL ON ME, YOU JUST CAN'T," her two hands pressed against his chest and pushed him backwards as Dallas slipped out of the room, not wanting to hear the couple going at it for something that was technically, both of their faults.
"YES I CAN. I CAN BLAME IT ALL ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ALMOST MADE ME LOSE HER. I ARLEADY LOST YOU, MY OWN WIFE, YOU THINK I WANNA LOSE THE ONLY REMINDER OF OUR ONCE STRONG LOVE FOR EACH OTHER TOO?" Joe yelled back, pushing her back but not with as much force, but still with enough for her to fall to the ground, choking on her own tears as she kept her eyes on the floor.
"Forget that I love you Demi," he breathed out, running his fingers through his hair. "It's not like you remembered but I'll forget that I love you and we'll be fine. You can move on and we can just live our lives separately. I can't do this. I can't keep fighting and getting my heart broken because you can't remember. I know it's hard for you but it's even harder for me and I just don't have the energy to do this anymore. I'm going to check on Nolie."
She wanted to cry and scream and beg him to not leave, beg him to keep fighting for her, because she was just confused and conflicted and didn't know what to do. But she realized how unfair that would be to him, because he had begged her to start fighting too and instead she had just broken his heart. So with that he left, left her alone in the middle of the carpeted waiting room, leaving her crying on the floor, leaving her broken, just like she had left him earlier that morning.
An hour later Dallas had told her that Joe had left to get some of Nolie's clothes, since she had thrown up on her previous ones, and that she could go back and see her. A part of her didn't even want to. What was she supposed to say to her little three year old? Sorry for almost killing you, mommy just forgot? She couldn't do that; she couldn't muster up the strength to face the child that she had unknowingly poisoned. People used to tell her that she was the strongest person that they knew but never in her life had she felt so weak.
Her feet led her down to the room where Nolie was. She glanced around the walls of the hallway as she walked to her room, stopping outside of room 110, where a painting of a brunette haired mother, holding a newborn was framed.
"You did it baby," Joe squeezed Demi's hand as the nurse wheeled her back to her room, room 110 in the women and pediatrics' ward, where her baby, their baby, was waiting for them to return after being cleaned up and checked. Demi squeezed his hand back, smiling at the picture outside of the door, a brunette mother caressing her newborn. That would be her soon, with her precious little princess, with Nolie.
"Let's get momma in bed, baby to daddy, then we'll leave you guys alone," the nurses and Joe helped Demi onto her bed, making sure she was comfortable before Joe sat beside her, watching as the nurse carefully picked up their little pink bundle of joy, placing the baby in Demi's arms instead of Joe as tears slipped from Demi's eyes and onto her scratchy hospital gown.
"She's so beautiful. Oh my gosh, we created her. We created life," Demi breathed out, letting their little baby wrap her entire hand around her pointer finger and bring it to her lips as if she knew, it was her mother holding her, the one that had kept her safely cocooned in her womb.
"You did it," Joe repeated, staring at their baby in awe as Demi shook her head.
"No, we did it," she corrected, snuggling up to him as he wrapped his arms around his girls, his two favorite girls.
Demi was crying before she even entered Nolie's room, hands clasped over her mouth as she saw her daughter, lying in a crib like hospital bed so that she couldn't get out or fall and hurt herself, two fingers stuck in her mouth and an IV stuck in her arm. But she was awake, she just looked bored and tired and in pain and it was all Demi's fault, all of her fault.
"Mommy?" Nolie picked her head up, a small smile spreading on her lips as she watched her mom walk over to her bed and flash a watery smile, lowering the bars on the bed so that she could sit next to her daughter, who instantly put her head in her lap. Demi combed her fingers through her matted curls and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Maybe at first she didn't remember that Nolie was her daughter, but there was no doubt that she felt a real, wholesome connection with her that no one else had, not even Joe.
"I sorry I ate the peanuts, mommy, Marisol said they were good," Nolie apologized as Demi sniffled and shook her head.
"It's not your fault baby; mommy just should've paid more attention to you. It's not your fault," it's all mine. Demi began to slowly hum; not even knowing what she was humming but was just attempting to calm Nolie and herself down. She wasn't sure how much more emotional turmoil she could go through. Between Joe practically kicking her out and her almost killing her own child because of a stupid allergy that had been unknown to her, she had just about had all of the drama that she could take for the next week. But she knew that even though she was suffering from amnesia and no one seemed to want to understand that anymore, life had a lot more to throw at her before it would leave her alone.
so yeah...joe and demi clearly need some space atm. like, love, hate? tears, joy, relief, smiles? let me know! :)
