This chapter is kind of emotional....
there are just some things you don't need to remember.
Joe carried Nolie into the house on his hip, Demi trailing behind them with Nolie's bag in her hands, deep bags rooted under her eyes, and tears already gathering in the bottom of her eyelids, knowing what was about to come. She followed them up to Nolie's room and leaned against the threshold of the door, closing her tired eyes for just a second as Joe tucked Nolie in. Two days spent in the hospital, counteracting the allergic reaction, making sure that Nolie was good with breathing on her own again, making sure that any signs of the reaction were gone and that she was okay. Joe kissed Nolie's forehead and Demi finally reopened her eyes, watching Joe leave the room without a word to her and Nolie turned to look at her mom.
"Cuddles?" she asked, opening her tiny arms. The tone of innocence and the little glimmer of hope in her eyes was enough for Demi to walk over and scoot into bed with the little girl, with her daughter, kissing her forehead as Nolie closed her eyes.
"Mommy is, she's leaving for a little bit," Demi slowly started. She had already burdened Joe enough. No need to burden him even more by making him tell Nolie why mommy wasn't going to be living with them anymore.
"Why?"
"I just think it's best for now, baby. But I'll still see you every day, all day. But when it's time for you to go to sleep, it'll be time for mommy to leave. We'll cuddle but then it'll be time for mommy to go back to her own home," Demi explained as Nolie shook her head, tears already falling down her chubby cheeks. And she remembered, being Nolie's age and having her mom sit down and explain to her and Dallas why daddy was leaving, why daddy didn't love them anymore, and she cried with her.
"This is your home," Nolie cried, burying her face into her mom's chest, tugging on the ends of her hair as she choked on her own little sobs.
"And it always will be. I'm just taking a little break from it, okay? I still love you, I will always love you," Demi kissed her forehead again and began to rock the two of them back and forth, calming Nolie down enough to get her to sleep before she slipped out of the bed and exited the room. Walking through the halls of the airy estate, she couldn't help but wish that she could remember the moments that she knew that she had shared with Joe and Nolie, inside of the beautiful house that she couldn't even bare to call home, the house that Joe wanted her out of.
Nothing was said between the broken couple as Demi walked into the closet and began to pack some of her clothes up, only grabbing the ones that she knew she would be most comfortable in. Leggings, sweaters, jeans, boots all piled up into two suitcases, her toiletries stuffed into a duffel bag along with the family photo that she had snatched off of the mantle in the living room. She figured that maybe if she stared at it long enough, she would get her family back. It felt like she was losing them, and maybe she was, and maybe with their loss a little bit of her memory would come back, and she wouldn't be suffocating in that house any longer. But until then, Joe didn't want her there. He didn't wanna see her if she wasn't gonna try, and she owed it to him, or at least somehow she had made herself think that she owed it to him, to leave, just like he wanted.
"Let me help you," the back of her wrist was used to wipe her tears away as Joe grabbed one of her suitcases and her duffel bag, carrying both of them out to the garage. She turned around before she headed down the stairs, hearing the pitter patter of Nolie's little feet and she opened her arms to pick the little girl up.
"Don't go," Nolie cried, tucking her head into her mom's shoulder, hiding behind her long curtain of dark brown hair, feeling her heart beat against her chest, remembering it being the only thing that she had clearly heard in the nine months when she had been encased and protected in her mother's womb.
