Behind the Secrets

T H I R T E E N

I'm running away. This can't be happening this isn't true. "Boo," Jason says popping up in front of my arms looped with Tori. "Aw isn't that cute she thought she could run from her problem."

"It's adorable," Tori replied. They began to laugh.

"Leave me alone," I screamed at them as I turn around that's when Kai and April appeared.

"Listen Alex you are a waste of space," Kai said.

"And you should kill yourself," April added.

"We agree," I turned to see Luke and Sam joining in the laughter.

"Why do you think anyone actually cares about you?" Spencer said looking next to him at Kat.

"Cause she thinks the world revolves around her," she replied.

"I don't," I yelled at them.

"Oh but you do," Shane replied laughing with Liam.

"You know I think she thinks people actually like her," this came from Ian who was with Alice.

"It's pathetic really," April added.

"You are a loser," Tori said.

"A freak," Kat added.

"A wannabe," Cole added.

I'm turning in circles to face each of them as they speak even though I don't wanna see them it's like I have no control in my body.

"She's depressing to be around," Spencer said.

"Maybe you should just kill yourself and put us out of our misery," Kai spoke.

"Yeah just do it," Sam agreed.

That's when they started chanting "kill yourself" while trapping me in a circle. The closer they got the more I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Stop it," I screamed covering my ears. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"

Next thing I know I'm bolting away. I'm covered in sweat. "Hey, are you okay?" I looked over to Kat who was sleeping on the bed next to me. For a second I was confused then I remembered I decided to stay the night after convincing her parents to let her stay here.

"Yeah, yeah just a bad dream," I replied. Was I reassuring her or me, was the real question. "Just a dream," I muttered to my self.

"If you say so," she replied laying back down.

"Listen I think I'm just gonna go home for the rest of the night," I said.

"You sure? It's like three in the morning," she replied.

"Yeah I'm sure," I replied getting up. I slept in the clothes I was wearing when I got here, mainly because I was tired. I grab all my things and head out.

The actual walk between my house and Kat's house is a little over 40 minutes. I didn't feel like waiting that long or calling my brother so I'll just take the subway.

I walk down the stairs and realize that I left the house with no money. The monitor is not paying attention so I just hop over the bars.

I am standing behind the yellow line just thinking. Was that really a dream or my subconscious trying to show me the truth of what my "friends" think of me. No. Its just me imagining things.

Some how without realizing it I was close to the edge, right on the yellow line. You know if I were to take a few steps when the train is coming I could end my life right there. It's not like anyone will truly care, right?