Behind the Secrets

F O U R T E E N

Jason's P.O.V.

I pace around the floor of the hospital waiting to find out what's going on. How could she do this? How could she be so selfish? How could I be so selfish?

This is my fault. I did this to her. I'm the reason she did this to herself.

"Jason you have to calm down," Sam said sitting down, bouncing her leg up and down. Her hands are entwined with Luke.

Kat runs into the room tears all down her face. She comes up to me and says "Jason I'm so sorry."

Sorry. I kept hearing that a lot. Everyone was sorry yet I guess in the end it was no ones fault, but maybe mine. I should've been there for her. I'm her twin for fucks sake I should've known something was wrong. How didn't I see this? How couldn't I see this?

I kept pushing her feelings aside and now this happened. I should've just listened and been there, I should've helped her instead of yell at her. She's all I have. I can't lose her.

I turn back to Kat "It's not your fault, no one saw this coming."

She lets out a sob "You don't get it, I did."

Anger fluttered through me. What does she mean she saw this coming? Before I can ask anything Shane stands up and asks "What do you mean you saw this coming?"

"I knew she was depressed, it was due to her having depression. The secret I claimed was mine was actually hers. I didn't think she would go through with it. She told me it was a feeling not an action," she lets out another sob "I'm so sorry."

"You knew she was gonna do this?" This time it was Spencer and Kai unison. I still couldn't manage to speak. She could've prevented this but she didn't.

"I didn't think she'd go through with it," she replied.

"But you knew, you knew she could." Sam said standing up.

"I- I- didn't-" her words were cut off by Sam slapping her in the face. Kat was holding her hand against her face, she turned to me. "Jason you have to listen to me, she told me not to tell. She made me promise. She told me she wasn't going to do anything like this."

"You should've told me," was all I managed to get out. I'm not mad at Kat, I can't be.

"I know, oh god I know. I'm so sorry." She looks at everyone "I'm so sorry."

Before I could speak Cole comes into the waiting room, you can see he sensed the tension because he turns to me and asks "What's going on?"

"Kat knew Alex would do this and she told no one," Sam replied.

"You knew?" Cole asks.

"No not exactly, but I knew she was depressed and could've done this but she made me a promise she wouldn't if I didn't tell." Kat said.

"Then what's the problem?" He asks.

Now that was the question. What's the problem? He's right. I'm not mad at Kat, she couldn't have seen this coming. Alex told her not to worry and she didn't. In the end she was honoring the promise she made to her best friend. As much as I wanted her to tell me I get why she didn't, I would've done the same if the roles were reversed.

"The problem is- " Sam spoke but I cut her off.

"Shut up," I replied.

"Jason she knew-" I interrupted her again.

"No she knew she was depressed not she would do this," I turn towards Sam and look her right in the eyes "my sister is in the ICU and she is my main concern not putting the blame on others now shut up and sit down."