Behind the Secrets

S I X

Phone? Check. Wallet? Check. Lipstick and mascara? Check. I make sure everything is in my gold clutch. I was wearing a strapless gold dress which showed off my curves. My wavy brown hair is down and over my shoulders. I add a pair of nude heels to the look.

I have to go to this stupid winter banquet thing my parents drag me and Jason to each year. It's a business thing but they want to show how there 'good parents' I scoff at the thought.

Worse part? They want meet to meet some guy who if I show any interest in they would probably arrange a marriage. They care more about there businesses then they do their own kids. I know mom and dad practically had an arranged marriage due to business but I don't want that. According to them it's selfish for me not to want that but I don't. I want to meet someone and fall for them and be happy to spend the rest of my life with them and not for business reason but because we love each other.

Spencer.

I shake the thought out of my head. No. I will put a smile and go to the hotel that is hosting the party but I will not ruin my makeup with crying.

I go on my laptop to check the schools page. Three secrets. That's how many so far. And thankfully none of them are mine. The secrets so far are nothing too bad. I normally tried to ignore them and give people there privacy but I read them every time.

The first secret was about how the person slept with there favorite stuffed animal which was a koala.

The second was was about how they had lice for about a month. Which is disgusting might I add.

The third one was actually very interesting. It was how the person lost their virginity at a wedding, with a married man.

That one was posted on Friday, which was yesterday. I don't try to figure out who they are since it's none of my business really.

Who the hell is doing this? No forget that. Why the hell is someone doing this? What could anyone gain out of this? It isn't right.

I sigh shutting my laptop and heading downstairs towards the living room. "Took you long enough." My brother says to be standing in his tux wearing a gold colored tie so we match.

We've been going to this banquet since we were kids and every time we go we always matched in some way. I know we're older now but it's tradition. "Yeah yeah let's just go." We start heading to the car.

Ever since my falling out with my mom during my freshman year of high school I changed as a person. I never had the best of grades and I wouldn't classify myself as "the good girl" but I always wanted there approval and I thought maybe being the good girl could help. I started studying and actually trying to care about my grades. But it never seemed to please my parents. I don't know why the can't just be happy for me but apparently they can't.

No matter how much I try I feel like unless I would marry for business they would never love me. Is that wrong? I don't even know.

"Your gonna get hurt if we end up getting into a accident." Jay says as the light turned red. I sigh buckling my seat belt. "Watcha thinking about?"

"Life." I replied staring out the window. Why the gods hell is my life so complicated? What did I do to deserve hell?

Is it bad I wonder what it's like to die? No. Stop. I'm not gonna think about death. I know I have a crappy life but I'm not gonna think about it. I take a deep breathe. All I have to do is put a smile on my face and get through the day.