Behind the Secrets

S I X T E E N

I am ready. I am beyond ready.

No I am not. But it needs to be done. I have to go back to school. This is gonna an adventure. Probably not. I might be overreacting. I am definitely overreacting.

"Come on," I say to myself. I lift myself of the bed and head into my bathroom, turning on the shower. I look in the mirror and see my face. This is me. Great.

After my shower I get dressed. Jeans and a t-shirt, can't go wrong with that. Hair out and natural. Stuff all good and packed. Not leaving anything behind hopefully. With that note I head downstairs only to see Jason waiting for me.

"You don't have to," he says looking at me with sad eyes.

"I do," I respond causing him to sigh and run his hand in his hair.

"Are you sure? I'm serious like if anyone tried to try anything," he starts.

"I know," I say ending the conversation. I head to the elevator and look back at him "Let's go."

I can't just hide in my room. Right now I'm gonna do what I want and be who I wanna be. I'm done letting people walk all over me. I'm done with people. I need to just forget about everything and everyone and live my best life the way I wanna live it.

∞

"You know I'm not gonna ask you to talk, right?" Ian says sitting on my bed.

"I know. That's why I invited you over instead of anyone else," I respond. "I don't wanna be alone and my brother has his game. I told him I'll have someone with me so I'm not alone. I'm just surprised you agreed."

"Not gonna lie, I wanted to check on you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think you're pretty chill Alex," he says smiling and putting a hand on my thigh. "So, what do you wanna talk about?"

"I want too just get my mind off everything but I can't drink since I'm taking my antidepressants plus my brother would probably kill me," I sigh.

"You know what helps me when I need to get my mind off things besides alcohol? Sex," he says.

"Are you saying you want me to have sex with you?"

"No I was stating it helps me but if you want to have sex with me I would gladly agree," he smirks.

"So much for a one time thing," I respond.

"I mean if you weren't so tempting and we weren't some kind of form of friends then it would've been a one time thing," he says.

"We are some kind of form of friends?"

"Take it or leave it," he shrugs his shoulders.

"Ian if you like me just tell me," I poke him.

"I don't like you," he says crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh you don't like me?"

"No I don't like you."

"So if I did this," I kiss his lips "You wouldn't want anything more?"

"That's different," he replied.

"How?"

"Sex doesn't have to mean anything it's just sex, gets your mind off of everything and satisfies your sexual needs while you're at it."

"Touché, but you do like me don't you?"

"Not like that, no."

"But like a friend?"