Cannot Be

Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Restart

I swallowed my 3rd glass of vodka. I felt it burn in my throat. I smiled; drinking this is still less painful. I'd wake up tomorrow with a hangover and an empty stomach but it will all be nothing compared to how I feel right now.

Of all the people who could've betrayed me, bakit kailangang mama ko pa? She knows how much I hated betrayal and dishonesty pero what is this bullshit?

"Cara... Dahan dahan lang.." paalala ni Patsi sa akin. Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya, if you only knew.

I faced her.

"Why do people cheat? Huh? Why do people cheat?" tanong ko.

Itinaas ko ang pang 4 kong baso. I hate that I'm a heavyweight! Dapat lasing na ako para wala na itong lahat sa akin.

"What's wrong Cara?" tanong niya. Tinapunan ko lang siya ng tingin.

Everything! Everything is going wrong! Hindi ito dapat nangyayari sa akin! My parents love each other so much! I should know... I've witnessed everything while growing up.

And come to think of it.. kalian nga ba huling nagkita sa bahay si mama at papa? 7 months ago? I forgot.

Is it that fast to fall out of love?

"Is it a love problem?"

"Bullshit na love yan!" singhal ko. Nagulat siya sa akin, I can see it in her eyes.

"You know what? You're right. Bullshit talaga ang love na yan!" Sabi niya saka lumagok din ng isang basong vodka.

I grinned.

"So ano ngang problema?" tanong niya.

Sumenyas ako ng isa pang baso sa bartender.

"Just this and that." Nilagok ko agad ang bagong inumin.

She rolled her eyes on me. I blew her a kiss saka naglakad patungo sa dance floor.

Madaming tao sa dance floor, as usual. Mostly girls pero marami rin namang mga lalaki. Pumunta ako sa gitna as it is my favorite spot kapag nasayaw.

I must admit, medyo nahihilo na ako at umiikot na ng bahagya ang paningin ko, but I don't care. I wanna drink until I pass out, I wanna drink to forget. Kasi ganun ang mga napapanood ko... they don't even remember what happened the night before kahit na nakahubad na sila sa ibabaw ng kama in a room unfamiliar to them.

I danced in the middle just letting my body go with the flow of the music.