-the butterfly chronicles pt.1

n i n e

Give a damn.
Many damns.
More damns than anyone.
-
They say only time can tell what your future or result may be . In this moment life and time took a stand still when I heard the words I never wanted to hear.

They left me.

My own flesh and blood had left me to stay here in America while they enjoy their lives back in South Africa. I too had dreamed of that happening because of how where I was right now was not in my best interest. But a promise that my family vowed was they would never leave anyone behind. I suppose promises are made to be broken after all.

As clueless as I was living under the roof of my principle ,I didn't realise this would end up being my permanent home. One of my friends -well I suppose a person I could trust temporarily - Susan had came by over to the house and drastically told me the heart breaking yet predictable news that I was left behind. I wondered why they had sent her instead of telling me directly but nothing could compare to the pain I felt in that moment.

It hurt so much that all I voudk do was stand still.

The pain was too much for me to hold in , allowing me to let out a tear . But before I could recieve any sympathy or pity ,I had shut the door in her face and ran to my 'room' and locked the door. I slid down the door unsure what to do. So I simply did what I do best: Cry

Hours and hours had passed and I was still crying my eyes out,crying the pain away. The pain and hurt that had been bottled up for years before in my past. I was never like this before ,keeping secrets and the pain hidden. But only one thing triggered it. One thing back in my old life back in SA.

_____

It was a Monday during out winter break where a so called fight had occurred between my childhood friends then known as my best friends. One of them had just moved to the Cape and dearly missed us as much as we did .

At the moment it was a brilliant idea to meet up when she would visit in the last few weeks of the break ,so she decided to create one of those cliché get-together-groups. It was all fun and games but a date could not be set and everyone had plans and minor distractions along the lines but it was getting off topic, resulting in a few of us to leave.

It was really nothing at all till she decided to write a quite hurtful yet a shallow comment about it on our personal group chat.

'Wow , I thought you guys cares about me but I guess I will see you guys in years because you guys are too busy to meet' she wrote to us.

But indirectly it meant you guys don't care about me anymore to not even make time to meet me ,so I decided to add an input on it and told her we cared but she can't make ludicrous assumptions like that. After saying my point of view I left because whatever I say is literally like I'm being rud or something.