-the butterfly chronicles pt.1

f o u r t e e n

Sick of crying.
Tired of trying.

-

Last night was a huge frenzy I can't take back. I broke down in front of people who don't even know me that well to even consider me family and yet here I am still living in their house . After my whole episode , Mr Ragslade had taken me up to my room and tucked me into bed regardless of me not being in my pajamas.

He left with a click of a door and I could do was curl into a ball and cry all over again. It's like I couldn't control my cried and all the pain kept repeating itself in a huge attack.  One by one all the memories and cuts kept on resurfacing and hit me like a bag of knives stabbing me.

It as too much to handle to an extent where I couldn't stop screaming. Screaming for help and this to all stop.

Me being scared of the situation. And even myself. Scared of what I had caused to other people and all the pain I have caused.

And all I could do was cry.
Cry away all the pain that deep down is killing me.

-
All around me , I could hear beeps but one sound stood out for me . It was a voice singing a song to me.

"Nothing but a tear, that's all
for breakfast
Watching you pretend you're unaffected
You're pulling our
connections ,expecting me to
let you go
But I won't

No you don't need my
protection
But I'm in love , can't blame
me for checking
I love in your direction ,hoping that the message goes

Somewhere close to you
Close to you
Like so close if they hurt you,
you wouldn't find out
Just say now, I'm coming right
now, to be close to you

Said you let it go, you kept it
Working hard to perfect it
Now your fear is reckless, and
it's out of your control
Would you let it go?

No you don't need my
protection
ButI'm in love, can't blame
me for checking
I love in your direction, hoping
that the message goes

Somewhere close to you
Close to you
Like so close if they hurt you,
you wouldn't find out
If you let me,  I'd be there by
now
Close to you. ."

The voice sang so soothingly I didn't even realise I had treats streaming down my face. Waking up abruptly to wipe the tears away , I noticed that I was once again in the hospital. Glancing to the person who sang to me , I noticed he had a hood on , hiding his face from being identified.

All I could do was stare at him blankly trying to figure out who that person was. A couple of minutes had passe and the awkward tension was getting worse so I just pressed a button to call a nurse .

That person seemed to realise that and finally decided to deal but I couldn't shake the fact of familiarity from him.

"Look okay , Hope.  I'm sorry you found me like this but I'm sorry this happened to you and I miss my best friend. Which is why I came here in the first place. You know me if you are wondering and I will always care for you regardless of what I may have put you through. I hope you can forgive me. I gotta go."

With that he had just left as son as the nurse and doctor had walked in. And from the look on his face I knew they were going to give me another of the speeches about my health and well being as I had realised that my vuts were exposed.

-

School without Hope was hell for me the most . As I couldn't even see her beautiful face on a daily basis. Over the time she was recovering Susan and I would go visit her constantly ever day after school to check if she was alright.

She seemed to be getting better but behind those fake smiles I could tell she was hurting seven more very single time. I always try my hardest to make her feel better but I won't be able to do it properly if she seemed telling like me more I guess.

Her sister , who I don't like at all now has been calling me , to get updates on her sister. The sister that left with her family to go back to their hometown. It's a disgrace that they would even do that but that just what happened.

Hope. I don't know how I can describe her anymore. She makes my heart beat faster every time I'm around her but I don't want for her to only think it's because she is like this. She is a strong and courageous person. The only sad thing is she can't keep on hiding behind that strong facade she has created.

I can see it in her eyes that she is broken beyond repair and taht what scares me.  Is that she will never let anyone in ever again. Regardless of that I'm going to try when harder to show her I care . Even if I have to write a poem or a song about her I will do it because she is not like other people.

She isn't so involved in what the new trends are and what society wants you to do. She wants to be her own person . A person that is fearless regardless of anything .But that's the sad thing about reality is that it can never happen the way you might want it. 

It's like s dream you have but it will be crushed as soon it's exposed to society as it aint what people like or accept . Society can't control everyone's norms but it's slowly ruining us.

And I'm afraid it hurting her even more.

-
Hey :)

I know this chapter was beyond terrible😂😅😢
But this was the double update and I hope you guys enjoyed it .
This one had two point of views if you didn't realise but it was Hope ' s and Theo's.

I lucky will be updating soon again 😊 After my Birthday on the 26th November 🌼

But till then -
Be unique🍃

xxLisobear