Fat Ugly Lies

Chapter 1

I don't like school.
I want to, but I can't.
Not when I live under constant judgement.

Everyone is my enemy;
Especially mirrors.
Or anything that shows my reflection.

I walk past one and it forces me to look.
To look at my horrid figure.
To ask myself where I went wrong.
How I became like this.

I don't binge eat like everyone assumes.
I don't starve myself even if I want to.
I'm moderately fit.
Well I'm never last to be picked in PE.
Heaven forbid that ever happen.

There's nothing to wrong with me.
My BMI says I'm still Normal.
But I don't think so.

And you make it very clear.
That you don't think so either.

I'll never be normal to you.
And though you say
Why aren't you normal?
You don't want me to be

If I were normal, you couldn't comment
On my weight
On my ugliness
On my general presence

If I were to become normal
You would lose all purpose.
So when you beat me up
Or when you get other people to hurt me
And you say
Maybe that will motivate you be like us

You're really saying
Just stay the way you are
So I can be popular
So people know that I mean business
So people can't see the real me.

And I bet if the real you came out
You wouldn't be so high and mighty.
You'd be like me
Only I wouldn't be like you
I would no longer live in fear
I'd roam the earth with a smile on my face

And for once
Actually mean it

But that will never happen
Because no one can find your flaws
No one can see past your rank in the hierarchy,
Everyone loves you
And everyone hates me.