Fat Ugly Lies

Chapter 12

Of all the people it could possibly have been.
It had to be you.
You did this on purpose.
You must have.

You did this to get to me.
There was no was you could possibly be gay.
Just the other day,
When I was eating lunch with George.

Boy George.
Gay George.
The one you called Faggot.
Disgusting.
Another disgrace to our society.

You couldn't have converted so fast.
Something didn't quite add up.
Something was wrong.
Very wrong.

Or maybe I was just being paranoid.
Maybe you were pretending to be homophobic.
So people didn't find out.

Maybe this was your dirty little secret.
One that if someone were to find out,
Your whole world would shatter.
It would crumble,
Burn before your eyes.

But if that were the case,
Then you were keeping a remarkably deadpan facial expression,
When you saw me at the door.

Did you not think I would go tattletaling?
Did you not think I was that strong?
In all honestly I'm not.
But if it was to bring you down to the depths of hell I was in,
I'd be willing to go to extraordinary lengths.

But then again I may have been right to be suspicious.
However for now I would have to endure it.
For the sake of my brother.
It wasn't fair on him.

Pleasure seeing you here.
He said with dry emotion. It was bitter but done in such a way it seemed polite.

Yes. What a surprise. Who would've thought you'd be our special guest?
Indeed.
Who would have thought?
Not me.

But I kept that fake smile plastered on my face.
Keeping my brother in mind I took deep breaths.
I could handle this.
It was only one night.

And then I started praying.
Please only be one night.
And never again.
For once can the universe acknowledge my wish and not test me further?
Please.
I beg.