Fat Ugly Lies

Chapter 7

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When she came back with the water,
She refused to leave my side again.
She was constantly speaking kind words,
Laced in honey,
Coated in sugar.

Trying to comfort me,
I don't need comforting,
I was sick,
A natural body occurrence,
Why would I be sad?

This is what I say in my head,
To stop me from feeling what I want to feel,
To stop me from breaking down in to a million tears,
The ones I refuse to cry,

Because I pretend to be strong,
When really I'm far at the other end of that scale,
Weak, Pathetic, Puny
Only puny is metaphoric,

I'm not small,
I'm huge,
I'm small inside
And a bolder on the outside.

I'm a smolder,
And I don't mean that thing Flynn does in Tangled.

She hadn't told me her name,
Neither had I told her mine,
It took me 2 hours,
Or however long we'd been here,
For me to realise this much.
I still didn't ask her.

It was as I got up to leave.
We spoke again.
She offered to walk home with me.
But I quickly refused,
I would have enjoyed the company,
But she's not allowed to see where I live,

It would drive her away,
Though maybe she isn't really here willingly,
A feeling of pity,
Here today,
Gone tomorrow.

And if she truly wanted to be my friend,
That feeling would vanish quickly,
After seeing my humble abode,
My natural habitat.

I waited until she had completely disappeared,
Out of sight,
Not out of mind.

My only friend gone,
Like that,
Perhaps I wouldn't see her again,
Maybe she'd deny any contact she had with me,
But it didn't matter.

Because for once in my sorry life,
Someone had cared about me,
Besides my family,
And it felt good.

However false it may be.