Fat Ugly Lies

Chapter 17

{A/N} I'm so so sorry for not uploading in forever guys! It's just that last week was the end of school and was pretty hectic and I just needed some time of relaxation and putting things and pieces together. However, now that I'm a few days into my holidays and got my shit together, I'm able to upload more frequently (when I'm not being a lazy ass procrastinator) so expect more updates coming your way!! (But seriously though, don't get your hopes up). 

Sunday went by fast.

Too fast.

Mummy dearest was working,

And brother was out,

Presumably with you,

Seeing as he had that lovestruck look in his eyes.

The one that causes him to practically sing his goodbyes to me.

Now I didn't have a job,

Or friends,

So I was stuck alone.

But regardless of who you're with,

So long as you have a good book,

Or access to the Internet,

Or a notepad and pencil,

The day turns out pretty great.

And goes pretty quick.

Meaning I'm now in bed,

Tossing and turning,

Anticipating school tomorrow, 

And not the eager kind of anticipation,

With school,

It's never the eager kind of anticipation,

More of a large feeling of: 

Dread,

Terror 

Anxiety

And other negative adjectives.

I could go on, 

But I won't,

Though it might be a good way to help you sleep,

Instead of counting sheep,

You could list adjectives,

Or words in general, about a certain topic, 

E.g how you feel about school,

And then you could go on,

And on,

And on,

And before you know,

You're out like a light.

However coming up with the idea,

Even if it is a great idea, 

(Like this one)

Doesn't necessarily mean you're willing to try it out,

Or that it will actually work. 

So yet again, I had an almost completely sleepless night,

I may or may not have drifted in and out once or twice,

But I wouldn't remember,

I didn't have any dreams,

I never really do,

Except on days that have either gone really good,

Or really bad for me.

Then I'll either have a happy dream full of rainbows and sparkles and unicorns 

(ha. not really)

Or a nightmare that will keep me up for the rest of the night,

Probably make me throw up a couple of times,

And cause me to sweat bullets,

Well not actual bullets,

Because that would be weird,

But that's a common saying,

So it should be pretty clear what I mean,

But if it's not,

I don't like nightmares.

What I do like though, is sleep.

And I do miss it so.