Ms. Believer- Tyler Joseph Fanfic

chapter eleven

*cassidys pov*

I woke up in my bed. My eyes stared at the awful blank wall. Why must it taunt me daily?

Across the room I could see Tyler's phone laying on my dresser so I knew he had to have slept with me again last night but I don't remember. I'm choosing not to acknowledge what happened last night before I fell asleep. Hopefully Tyler was too tired to remember much. I sat up and looked around with no Tyler to be seen. I got out of bed and walked to grab Tyler's phone and then I exited my room and turned to go down the stairs. I could feel the cold dark wood on the bottom of my bare feet. As I was going down the stairs, I realized I hadn't weighed myself in two days... Definitely strange for someone who used to weigh herself after every meal, every workout, and every time she even walked into the bathroom. It's so strange how so many of my disordered habits changed so quick once Tyler became more relevant in my day to day life.

When I reached the bottom of the steps I only saw Josh laying out flat on the floor with one of his arms behind his head and the other gripping a strawberry pop tart  and his legs spread apart. He was watching some movie that I had never seen.

"Hey where's Tyler?" I said, startling Josh off of the floor and his head shot in my direction.

"God, you scared the heck out of me." He said as I let out a chuckle and he laid back out on the tan carpet "I don't know I guess he left early this morning because I never saw him leave. He's probably at basketball practice or something" Josh said while staring at the tv and shoving part of the pop tart into his mouth.

Josh's response sort of made me happy, I wouldn't need to worry about confrontation of the kiss(es) until later.

"Well he left his phone here" I said while turning and walking towards the kitchen and then setting Tyler's phone down on the cold granite.

Since Tyler wasn't there to stop me, I went up stairs to weigh myself. I've been itching to weigh myself ever since I realized I hadn't weighed in in two days. Weighing myself was always dreadful because no matter what the outcome was, I was never happy with my number but I can't stop myself from weighing myself again. Once i got upstairs I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I first used the toilet and brushed my teeth. I next stripped off all of my clothes and stepped on the scale, praying that I didn't gain.

108.3

I gained over a pound.

Fatty couldn't keep away from the food

Failure

I couldn't believe what I saw. Numbness shot up through my feet and to the top on my head. This is all Tyler's fault. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have gained and I would be able to keep to myself and not be constantly hovered over. I can't believe this. I need to loose all of this weight. I quickly threw my pajamas back on and then walked into my room to change into a pair of Nike running shorts and an old sweat shirt. I quickly went down stairs so that Josh wouldn't see my scars and I walked out the door. I started running as soon as I got out the door and couldn't stop. I ran nearly four miles and only stopped because my legs had been numb for about a mile. Hopefully that and my plan of fasting today will help me lose what I gained and more.

Once I got home I noticed that Tyler's car was in the drive way. I automatically got frustrated that he would be there, forcing food down my throat. I was clearly obese, why was he trying to make me gain weight? When I walked in the house I went upstairs and showered because of how sweaty I was. After I got out I ringed my soaked hair out into the sink and then used one of my towels to wipe the fog off of the bathroom mirror. I wrapped my towel around my body and then headed out of the bathroom and into my room. I changed into a new pair of black jeans and one of Josh's twenty one pilots sweatshirts. I left my hair twisted up in the towel and went downstairs and entered my kitchen, where my whole family was gathered, along with Tyler.