i'm dead | harry styles

chapter fourteen

This chapter is short and maybe it sucks, but I'll do better. Especially on the next one. Sorry for the latest boring chapters. :(

♡

His knees are bouncing and he's looking up at the ceiling. His arms are locked against his chest, and all eyes are on him. He knows. That's why he looks so anxious, it's not even about his treatment anymore. I push my hand under his arm and he lets me lock my arm with his.

"Does your treatment hurt?"

"No."

I had made some research in the truck. He'll be likely be given an electrical shock, kind of a seizure. It might lift his depression. It makes me think as if Harry's a computer being turned off and when it comes back on he's not that depressed - like when a system is rebooted. I hate to think like this. Whatever living hell he has to go through, I want to be there for him.

"Are you lying?"

He answers, moving his head.

"Gosh. It's cold in here."

"There's a coat in the truck."

"Yours?"

"The last owner of the truck left it there."

He gives me the keys and I go outside. I get to the truck and glance at the empty bench in front of a shop. I know that girl I met right there was Chelsea, a redhead and bringing him to his electroconvulsive therapy. I should've known better that that day he was right there so close to me, but I didn't know.

When I come back inside, Harry isn't there. I walk up to the secretary.

"Did Harry Styles get called?"

"Yes." She looks up at me irritated.

"He asked me to come in with him."

"Are you his mother?" She knows I'm not, yet she had to throw the dumb question. I shake my head. "Then you can't come in. He's over eighteen."

"He doesn't want to be there alone."

She begins to ignore me.

"Fine. Just tell me where the loo is."

She gives me directions. I walk through a long hallway, searching where he is.

"Psst."

I find Harry in a small room. Some doctors are in there with him. I want to freak out when I see the tools they're holding and he nods at me come in.

"Am I going to get kicked out?" I peek inside.

"Well, you can't be here." Doctor number one say.

"I want her to stay, so she's fucking staying."

I'm pointed at a corner and I stand there, nervously. A nurse injects him anesthesia and it's not long until he closes his eyes and falls fast asleep. They place an oxygen mask on his face as others just work out some electrodes on his scalp.

The doctor hits a button and he begins to shake as if he's convulsing. I look down and keep myself from walking out of the door. I remind myself I'm doing this for him. It lasts like a minute and the doctors and nurses leave the room. I take advantage of it and get closer to him, it's the first time about his sleeping. He looks so peaceful, long eyelashes resting on his cheekbone and chest raising and falling slowly.

I slowly trace my fingers over his cheek, it feels so cold and soft on my skin. How could someone ever want to hurt him? I want to lie next to him but that'd be way too much. I hear the door opening and I back away.