World of Wolves

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

I woke early in the afternoon. I couldn’t believe I had slept this long. The days are blurring together again. I only have about a quarter of a day awake and the rest I am asleep or hanging over the toilet pushing up my guts. I had the stitches removed from my head yesterday evening and it was getting itchy again.

As I scratched my head I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. I was beginning to look a lot better appearance wise again now that all my scabs and bruises had disappeared; but I had lost a lot of weight. That’s what is worrying Doctor Holly. Normally with the amount I have been eating and doing nothing I should be putting on weight, not losing it.

So she had me on a special diet that had me eating twice as much fat so I would gain something, unfortunately it wasn’t good tasting fat because it had to be fat that would be good to my body. I brushed my teeth and jumped into the shower. Alisha had supplied me with some clothes since I would be here for a little while longer. Holly suggested that since I will be having the baby in under a month I might as well stay here.

I hadn’t spoken to my sister since that day that I mistakenly ran into her. She had been calling the front desk a lot of times for me but each time I denied the call. My heart was broken in so many ways. I lost my family, then I lost my mate, I lost my trust with my sister, then I lost my sister. Life is meant to full of mistakes and regrets and moments that you feel so embarrassed about that you feel like bashing your head in; but when does it stop? When in my life is everything going to come together and be perfect from then on? IS it ever going to be perfect? Or am I going to die a single and heartbroken mother?

I stared down at my bulging stomach seeing the beauty of me and Seth. We made this—this was the perfect. I’m glad that at least something went right in my life—I brought life. This was perfect. I smiled and gently touched the bulge. This was my child, my little girl or boy. I hope it’s a girl, just like me so I can give her the life I never had with my mother. But I also hope it’s a boy, just like Seth in every single way, so I can remind myself why I keep living. Whatever gender the baby is, I will love it all the same.

I hopped out of the shower and dressed into a light pink dress that went to my knees even with my bump. It made me seem fatter then I was but it also made me seem really proud about being a mother. I put on a light black jacket and some flats and left the private hospital room. By the time I had reached the canteen I was exhausted which was weird since it wasn’t that far away. I ordered my fatty, yet disgusting food and ate most of it. It was like a grey sludge and a piece of white bread, yes it tastes just as bad as it sounds.

I pushed away the tray and sat back kicking off my flats to enjoy the cool tiles on my feet. I leant back m head and watched the dust particles sinking and rising in the light. Sometimes I wished to be a dust particle in the light, a free little thing that dances and travels wherever it wants to go, no care in the world. But then my controversial side intervened and I realised dust particles are just dust particles; they aren’t alive, they don’t have feelings and they definitely can’t control their freedom.

“So what’s the new gossip in the hospital?”

I sat up straight and held my hand to my chest. “Holy shit, Alisha, way to give me a heart attack.”

“Oh, don’t complain, honey. You love my company.” She waved the statement away and leant on the table. “So...what’s been going on in the week I have been away?”

I held my stomach. “Well the baby grew...a lot!” she looked down at my stomach wide eyed.

“Ouch.” I nodded my head. I would get growing pains like I was a child again; my stomach was growing at a faster rate than normal. “Anything else.”