Twenty-two letters to Liam

Letter two

Edited

Letter two

Madison Smith

London, England.

01 October 2012

Dear Liam

As you can read i'm back!

I'm feel so depressed right now and i don't even know why. Maybe it's the fact that i had a fight with my friends, a strange person keeps calling me, someone hacked my twitter and send really mean tweets to almost everyone in my class, and no one really talks to me at school. No, I have no clue why I could possibly feel like shit.

Why is this happening to me? What should i do? I don't have any friends left, everybody hates me.

I have such a wonderful life.

I didn't cry Liam. I was strong enough. I'll never cry for them, they don't deserve my tears. I won't cry for anyone, except you maybe.

Liam POV

Suddenly i felt really hurt. I know a lot of girls cry because of me. They cry when I'm sad or when they don't get the opportunity to meet me, and i hate to hurt them. I didn't want this girl to cry because of me. Even when i'm sad, i feel a lot better knowing millions of girls care about me and cry with me. But still, this felt like an emptiness nothing could fill. I lost Danielle, and she was there from the very beginning, when we were on x-Factor, and nobody could take the pain away i felt.

Anyway, you don't really know me, do you? No, that's impossible.

I'll tell you a little something about myself.

I'm Maddison Smith, but you can call me Maddy. I'm 17 years old, and the thing i love most in this world is making music. I've got long brown hair and green eyes. I look a little bit like Harry I guess. Talking about colors, my favorite color is red.

I never cry. Not when people hurt me on purpose anyway. I'm strong. In a few years, everyone who has ever bullied me will look up to me and think 'Wow'. My name will be on every magazine and they will beg me to follow them on twitter.

You probably understand what I'm talking about. You've been through the same thing, right? You know what it's like to be bullied.

Two years ago i thought my dreams wouldn't come true, but because of you guys i started believing everything is possible. You gave me hope, even if it was just a little bit.

I'm thankful for that Liam. It's the reason i love you. Because, even though you have never met me, you helped me through so much. You were able to make me smile when i was crying. Yeah, I'll never forget you.

What gives me hope as well is music. Moments is a really special song to me Liam. I can't really describe it.

Another song that always touches my heart is the Fighter from Gym Class Heroes.

Even though it's not a sad 'cry song' i hold on to this song and everytime i listen to it i start crying again.

''I'll fight for my goals, I'll fight until everyone regrets everything they ever said to me. I won't let them get me down. I'm just growing.''

Before I die, I want to be able to be proud of myself. Nobody else has to be proud. Not my parents, not my brother, not my family, not my teachers, no-one. Just me.

A smile appears on my face. Madison is strong. I know how it feels to be bullied and to be disliked. The only thing I don't know is how to stand up for myself and fight back, and Madison does. She doesn't need someone else.

She's a dreamer.

I pray with all my heart, her dream will come true. I hope someday the name Madison Smith will be on every billboard.

She is strong enough to fight. Even though i don't know her, i know she is. The way she writes makes me feel like she isn't afraid to lose everything to make her dream come true.

Especially the part where they sing:

''Give em hell, turn their heads, gonna live life until we're dead. Give me scars, give me pain, then just say to me, there goes a fighter''

It really gets me. It's like a beautiful story, and you truly realize it's beautiful when you feel the same way.

Sometimes I sit behind the window and look at the world outside. I sit there for hours, repeating this song, thinking about how life would be without pain. I'm really wondering how that'd be Liam. How would life be without pain. Without all the pressure, because you need to be perfect. You're familiar with that pressure aren't you? So basically, we are the same. I know how you feel, and you know how I feel. Isn't that weird? Knowing how someone feels without knowing them. That's a stupid question. I know you better than I know myself. I mean, I know everything there is to know about you.

Dr Davis told me I should engrave a line into my desk. In the wood of my desk, with a knife or something. There's little lines coming from that line, if you know what I mean. Every little line has a leaf, and every leaf stands for one day. Every leaf means I was strong that day. It becomes my personal tree. Everytime I get stronger, the tree gets stronger, and it carries more leafs every time. The stronger me and the tree her, the more leafs there can be on the tree.

It's kinda cool isn't it. Yeah, therapy isn't always the best thing, but sometimes it does help. I love drawing, so it's a challenge to make the tree as big as possible. To make it strong. To make me strong,

Does she have therapy? Why? Dr Davis must be her therapist, right? Maybe there's a lot more going on than she's telling me. Maybe she had a rough childhood?

Sadly, you can't talk back to me. If you could, we wouldn't just be talking about me.

Ugh, I wanna meet you so badly.

Goodnight Liam. I love you

Love,

Maddy.

Is it weird that I really want to meet her, even though I barely know her?

I want to know who she is. I want to get to know her. I want to hug her, and tell her that there is someone who cares.

I care.

She needs me, and maybe, deep down inside, I need her to.

I need her.

-

Yeah, translating the whole tree thing part wasn't easy but oh well i gave it a try. I hope you kind of get the idea

So, tell me what you think and vote and comment and all that stuff :)