Twenty-two letters to Liam

Letter four

Madison Smith

London, England

5 October 2012

Dear Liam

Maybe you wonder why it took so long before I wrote you another letter. I told Dr. Davis I write you about my problems and.... that didn't went well.

She forbid me to write you another letter, because it only makes me depressed. Pff. Like that's possible. I already am depressed. So I told her you're the only one who listens to me, who listens to my screaming. She laughed at me. She just sat there, laughing. She told me it's not possible you're reading this. She said everything I wrote went straight to the trashcan.

At first I was mad at her for talking about you like that, but after that I realized she was right, and that really hurt. Of course you read your fanmail, right? But the chance that you're reading this is 0,000 percent.

I tried to listen to her advice, but I simply can't. Not writing you just makes me unhappy. It's not about whether you read this or not, it's about writing my problems down and just sort of sending them away. Sent away, together with my feelings.

'Liam?'

Startled I jump up, looking around.

'Liam?' someone says again. It's Harry. 'We're leaving!'

Suddenly I realize I won't be able to read Maddy's letters when we're gone.

I hold the paper close to me and look around, anxiously. I don't know why, but I got the desire to talk to her. I want to read more. I want to know what's going through her mind right now. I want to know what's she's doing.

I hear Harry screaming my name for the third time and close my eyes with a loud sigh. We'll be gone for twenty days, and when I'm back there will be a big pile of letters waiting for me, I think, smiling.

Thinking about that I jump up from the couch and run towards the noise.

'Finally,' Louis mumbles. 'Where were you?'

'Just...' I quickly answer without finishing my sentence. I step into the bus and sit down in one of the chairs. As soon as I sit down I take the letter.

'What's that?' Niall asks curiously.

I don't bother answering and search for the point where I stopped reading a couple of minutes ago.

I saw you guys on x-Factor :D. And on daybreak. Oh my God, daybreak. Liam, your new hair is so cute. Aw, my heart is melting. And Lou.. God why are you guys doing this to me.

I could have been there. Maybe I could have climb out of the window. That sounds cool. But well, i'm locked up here.

Locked up? Where is she talking about?

Frowning I look at the with ballpoint written letter

If I was there, I would've screamed harder than anyone else. Ow, sigh, why is life so complicated. Why can't I be a normal teenager.

Did Niall break his leg Li? He's walking on crutches! What happened? I'm worried. I heard something about rugby. Ow Nialler.

I was thinking, what if one of you suddenly got really sick. What would happen to the fandom? The only thing we're doing now is arguing with everyone. I swear, everyone gets more annoying and annoying every day. No, I shouldn't say that. I know, sorry but .. ugh, nevermind.

Maybe everyone will be really caring and compassionate. I'm not saying they're not caring and compassionate now! I mean, as soon as a Directioner passes away we trend it. We're really caring, but when it comes to people from outside this fandom we feel sorta attacked. We want to be the best. I don't really care which fandom is biggest or most important, but a lot of Directioners do. Of course it's amazing you guys broke another record, but we don't need to win eveything? God, I should stop saying such stupid things. Of course it's important you guys win a lot of stuff.

What do you think about Cher's news song, Li? I love it! Oath :). I just can't find it on iTunes, but that probably won't be for long.

Oh dear, now I'm thinking about it, Little Mix's DNA is coming out today! YAYYY!

I quietly laugh.

'Liam, hurry up!'

Sighing I take my luggage and step out. 'Why are we here?'

'The van is having troubles,' Niall answers.

I nod and lean against the van, looking at the sun. I wonder what Maddy is doing now. Everything is so complicated. I don't know who she is, where she lives, where she's having troubles with... if I knew I would have helped her, obviously. The problem is, I don't know anything. And in the next month I won't be finding out, because I can't receive her letters.

I'm so happy now! :D

Anyway, when is Little things coming out? I'm so curious. They said it's coming out before the album is coming out and the album is coming out on the ninth of November right? So it should be next month! Ah, next month is so far away! :( Booo!

I bet it's something like ''It are Little Things that make me love you.'' Right? That's in almost every movie, so... How cool would it be if I was right. That would mean I'm psychic :D.

I really should stop now. I've got school :(

I'll write you another letter soon Leeyum!

Love

Madison