White Lies and Black Eyes [Timids]

Part VIII

It wasn’t long after Drew left where I began to feel uncomfortable. I began to think about what just happened only a half hour ago. I began to worry about myself and my sanity. Why would I agree to meet him? What could have possibly possessed me to go back to him? That’s it, Sumner, you’re insane. Great, just what I need.

I was propelled out of my thoughts by the familiar buzzing of my phone in my pocket, indicating I had received a text. I sighed and stood from my previous place on my bed, and grabbing my phone from the right back pocket of my skinny jeans.

From: Jay

I had a nice time tonight, see you soon.

Xx

I whimpered as my watery eyes wandered over the ever blurring images on my phone. I didn’t understand why he was doing this. I couldn’t tell if he was saying the truth or to manipulate me. I prayed it wasn’t the latter, but I highly doubt him ever loving me. He was a liar, a cheat, and a victimizer. I know that the rest of the band know that too; they don’t exactly keep their opinions of him to themselves. Drew usually keeps quiet around the subject of my ex, which I am thankful for. Luke, Laurence and Kier however; they’re a completely different story. They take pride in insulting Jay, which I shouldn’t mind, but I do. I’d rather they forget he ever existed. I chuckled hopelessly. Forget he ever existed? Fat chance of that happening when he is still capable of contacting me!

I began to fall back into my hole; the hole I’d rather escape from. I looked around my empty room, the familiar sense of vulnerability returning. I still felt his rough touch on my skin, his hands wandering my shaking body. The recognisable sensation of his chapped lips scraping across my neck and the haunting of his lips attached forcefully to my own. I whimpered out loud, instantly holding a trembling hand over my mouth. Still stood in the centre of my bedroom, my eyes widened as I replayed the earlier events once more. I couldn’t knock them away, or lock them at the back of my consciousness. I felt so alone, so isolated. I needed to escape; I needed Drew. He makes everything go away. I needed him.

Frantically looking around my room once more, I threw my phone behind me. Not hearing a sound in reply so it must have landed safely on my bed. I threw open my bedroom door and closing it loudly behind me. I walked at a fast pace down our small hallway and peered into the living room. I smiled as I saw the man in question sitting comfortably on the sofa, a packet of crisps in one hand, the other typing on the laptop that was resting on his lap. I took a step into the room and began to play with my hands nervously.

“Drew?” I squeaked.

He turned away from the laptop screen to look at me, curiously. I couldn’t help but smile shyly.

“Shane, are you okay?” He wondered.

I nodded slightly. “F-Fine, may I join you?” I asked, cursing my stutter. Although I knew I didn’t need to ask, it felt right.

“Course you can, Silly. Come here.” He replied, smiling at me gently and patted the space next to him.

I smiled as he spoke, instantly feeling more confident in being around the smaller man and hurried over to his left side, jumping onto the sofa and snuggled into his side. He immediately put his arm around me, playing with my sandy hair. I hummed in content, Drew was always so warm.

“What are you doing?” I whispered, staring down at Drew’s laptop. I didn’t feel the need to talk any louder; it would ruin the comfortable silence.

“Checking out our Tumblr tag.” Drew replied, equally as quiet, and I nodded.

We sat together in silence, not needing words to keep us from getting bored. I just liked Drew’s company; I needed to be near him. I wonder if this is what we would be doing more often if Drew and I become a couple. I blushed slightly into Drew’s shirt; that would be nice. Drew seems like the protective type. The type that would hug you and never let you go; never wanting you to leave. I wonder what that feels like, having someone who wants to be near you; who would want to hug you and kiss you. I’d like that; but not from just anyone. I think I’d like it if it was Drew. I shook my head slightly, noticing Drew look down at me, but I turned away. Don’t be silly Shane; Drew wouldn’t want that with you.