It's Complicated (A Ross Lynch Story)

Mia

I continued driving down familiar roads and passing familiar places. There were some new things, but generally everything had stayed the same. Nostalgia washed over me as I drove, and for the most part I was glad to be back. But the second I made it final that I was coming home, my mind starting running a million miles an hour. 

I didn't think I'd ever come back. As much as I wanted to since I left, I couldn't. For so many reasons, I just couldn't. There was too much history, too much that went unsaid, too much that shouldn't have been said at all. But what happened happened. Things were said, things were done, and I've spent the last year and a half carrying around a load of unfinished buisness. Which is why I came back.

I turned onto the road I'd driven down hundreds of times and didn't think twice when I parked in front of their house, like it was an instinct. I killed the engine and sat in the car for a while. I'd practice a thousand different speeches a thousand different times, and truthfully I didn't think I was going to use any of them once I got inside. But it gave me some security to feel prepared.

I looked in the mirror and fixed my hair. I hadn't changed much since they last saw me. I wore a little more make-up that made my eyes more obviously hazel, my hair had grown from a little under my shoulders to the middle of my back, same shade of light brown. All and all, I had grown up. To my pleasure, it wasn't just physically.

I sighed and took my keys out of the ignition, I couldn't stall anymore. I shoved my keys and my phone into my bag and opened the car door, locking the car door as I shut it.

Last time I'd walked along that driveway my eyes were blurred with tears. I'd ripped my heart out into a million pieces and stomped on it, my stomach filled with pain and guilt. Guilt more than anything else.

I got to the door and took a deep breath before knocking. I felt strangely calmer than I expected to be when I got to this point. Esspecially since I didn't know who was going to open the door.

"I got it!" I heard a voice yell from inside. But I couldn't make out who it was.
I heard the knob turn and watched the door swing open. A guy answered, long blonde hair that came to the side with darkened roots and big brown eyes. I knew him instantly. Riker.

He smiled politely at first but it soon faded,"Mia." He said, clearly surprised.
I put on a small smile and shrugged,"Surprise."
Soon Riker grinned and pulled me into a tight hug,"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
I wrapped my arms around his neck and laughed,"It was a last minute decision." I said as we backed away.
He was still smiling,"We all missed you...and we thought you weren't coming back." He brought me into the house and closed the door behind me.

I nodded, my smile fading,"I thought it would be easier if I didn't. But I shouldn't have left the way I did."
Riker's expression shifted and I knew he knew what I was referring to, so I continued,"What did happen, after I left?"
He sighed and shook his head,"He-"

"Mia!" I was crushed from behind by a pair of strong arms. I couldn't help but smile at the squeel that came from her.
I turned around once she loosened her grip and hugged her,"I missed you so much Rydel." I said.
"Oh I missed you too, I'm so glad you're here!" She giggled and looked at me.
I glanced over at Riker,"Me too."

We went into the kitchen and talked for a while to catch up. The band was taking a break, Rocky was with Ryland in Vegas for the weekend, Ryland had a concert. Rydel and Ellington had gotten engaged 2 months prior, and Riker was starting to write a book about his experiences in the music industry.

I told them about the book I was working on and was possibly going to get published, the company that had hired me as their photographer, the apartment I found, and what my life had become over the last two years. I could tell the entire time we talked, they were avoiding the topic of Ross. Neither of them said his name.

"Alright I gotta ask," I finally said,"Was it that bad when I left? I mean you haven't said anything about him in the last 20 minutes."

Rydel and Riker shared a quick look,"It was that bad." Rydel answered. I was hoping for a different answer, but I appreciated her brutal honesty.
"Yeah I'd never seen him like that. It's like he was just completely numb." Riker added.
I sighed, I couldn't even picture it. Ross was such a lively person, so free-spirited and always looking for fun. And than I hurt him.
"Is he here?" I asked. I'd been asking myself that very question since I walked in the door, but I was scared to hear the answer.
Riker nodded upward.

There was a time when I would've got up right there and went upstairs to see him. Hell I would've ran up the minute I entered the house, I would've prayed he'd be the one answering the door in the first place. But I didn't get up. Instead I stayed seated. I took another sip of my water and thought about what could've been.