It's Complicated (A Ross Lynch Story)

Ross

It felt going talking to Mia like that, being completely open with her. That's how it use to be. 

I use to tell Mia absolutely anything and everything. Job opportunities, a new book I was reading, anything new that came into my life; she was the first person I had to tell. She'd listen while I raved about whatever came up and she'd even ask questions because she not only was genuinely curious, but she knew I wanted to talk about it. I missed those days. Things were easier. 

I was feeling so many different things. I was confused about why she left, heart broken from what she said, at least when I replay it to myself, and over all in love with her. Which is why I figured taking things slow would be best. Than I realized starting over would be even better. Put the past where it belongs and not hold a grudge. 

I could see a difference in her when she came back. She was...happier. Like a huge weight had been lifted off of her and she was free now.

She was always a happy person. Always smiling and trying to make other's do the same. But seeing her now, her smile was more genuine and full of life, she brightened up the entire room with that smile. Looking back at the one I use to see, it wasn't the same.

It was late. Not too late, but late enough to know everyone was asleep. Everyone except her, of course.

I opened my bedroom door and immediately noticed a light coming out from the bottom of her door. I hesitated, not sure if I should, but decided to just do it before walking down the hallway to her room. I knocked on the door twice quietly with my knuckle. There was shuffling and light footsteps before she opened the door.

She had on her glasses and her curls were loose and messed, her makeup was totally off and her pajamas were on. She wasn't trying, and she was beautiful as ever.

"Did I wake you up?" She asked quietly.
I shook my head and tried to find my train of thought again,"No...no I uh," I chuckled,"I couldn't sleep and I saw your light."
She laughed lightly as well,"I couldn't sleep either."
She always did have a sleeping problem.

We looked at eachother for a few interrupted seconds before she spoke up again,"Do you wanna come sit for a little bit. We can talk or something...like we use to." She smiled a little.
I felt myself start to smile as the memories of sleepless nights came flooding back. The late night conversations that would end up lasting till sunrise.

"Yeah." I smiled and she let me into the room. She closed the door again and we ended up sitting on the floor. Just like we use to.

She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. I stretched both my legs out and stayed quiet in the awkward silence for a while.

"This is weird." She said quietly with a small smile. I shook my head and started to open my mouth but she stopped me with a look. I laughed and moved my hair from my face,"Alright sort of..."

We both laughed a little, trying to be quiet and mindful of the others sleeping in the house.

"So you finally got into photography huh?" I said, trying to ease the tension. 

Mia use to take beautiful pictures with her phone and was contstantly reading up on techniques and looking at different photo's. But she never took a class.

She smiled and nodded,"Yeah when I got to New York I just figured...why not?" I smiled and she looked up at me,"I even took a dance class."

My smile grew. Mia absolutely loved to dance. Hell she met Riker in a dance studio. It was her love for dance that brought us together. But she never actually took a class. She would sit and watch in the back. She told the instructor she was gathering information for a paper.  

"That's amazing, I'm proud of you." I said,"I really am."

We talked a lot about her life in New York. She had really created the life she wanted. From the small apartment to the photography job, to the dance class. She worked to make her dreams come true, and as much as I wished she's been here during her time there, I could help but be happy for her.

When it really started to get late we got up from the floor and walked to the door. We didn't open it though, I didn't really want to leave her.

I leaned against the frame of it and looked it at with a small smile,"I'm glad we did this. It was really nice."

She smiled as well and nodded,"It was. It's been a while since we talked like that."

We smiled and it was quiet for a while before she spoke again.

"You know...I thought about you a lot." She said suddenly.

She looked completely calm. She didn't look uncomfortable like she use to.

"I mean...I still do. But after I left you took up a lot of my thinking time." She chuckled before turning serious,"I hated myself for lying to you. Hurting you is my biggest regret."

"You lied?" I questioned, honestly confused.

She nodded,"I told you I didn't care about you and I didn't have feelings for you."

I always somewhat knew this. She may have said she didn't, but I could see it. I felt it, she felt something. But the thing with us, we never talked about it.

From the moment we met it was flirting. It was smirks and long glances. Compliments and obvious hidden messages behind basic sentences. It was when she left that everything finally, truly came out. But at the time, I thought the truth was she didn't have feelings for me. But now...

"You had feelings for me?" I asked, just wanting to hear her say it,"the whole time?"

Her smile faded and she just looked into my eyes,"Of course I do." She said quietly.

That's why I stopped fighting. I stopped putting my petty need to hold a grudge in front of my feelings and gave in. I came off of the wall and tucked her curls behind her ears and kissed her, for the very first time.

She didn't react at first, but it didn't take long for her to kiss me back. I felt her hands come on my waist and she stepped closer, our bodies almost touching. I took my hands from her face and wrapped my arm around her waist, needed to feel her against me. My other hand went into her hair, my fingers slipping though the soft strands.

I'd thought about doing this for so long. And now that I finally did I couldn't help but think that if I'd kissed her before she left, she might not have left at all.