It's Complicated (A Ross Lynch Story)

Mia

"It's really good to see you."

That was a lot more I thought I'd ever get from him. And hearing his voice again, that was a treat in itself. I'd gotten so accustomed to hearing his voice every day that I started to forget what it really meant to me. I guess it's true; you don't really know how lucky you are to have something until you lose it.

I definitely felt awkward in the house at first,!$( after Rocky and Ryland got back from Vegas, I started doing more with them. Things started to almost feel normal again.

They were taking a break from the band and working to just relax, which meant they spent a lot of time at home. Rydel and Ellington would go to lunch or on dates every now and then, which was the most anyone went out in the house. Riker was either writing for the book he wanted to do and would sometimes ask me to read some of it and he even asked tips, which was nice. I never considered myself a professional writer, because it was something I did for my own pleasure. But it was nice to have someone asking for advice with something like that.

Rocky and I were never too close, we had an occasional conversation, but that was the extent. He was always the fun one though, I noticed that quickly. If we were doing something and it was quiet, he was the first one to crack a joke. He was always laughing, always happy. I needed some of that in my life, I envied him, and liked when he was around.

While Ryland didn't live in the house, he was over frequently. He and I weren't best friends, but we acted like it in some ways. We had rare conversations that best friends would have. They were either really fun and entertaining, or really long and deep. We were close, and that's what mattered to me. He was always there and he cared, something I valued greatly.

The house was never really empty. There were always three people in it at the most, but there were rare times when Ross and I were left alone. Small, rare times. When that happened, nothing happened. He stayed in his room for the most part though, I had a pit in my stomach that told me that he was doing it to avoid me. But to be fair, I'd been avoiding him as well.

The times we did stay in the same room was for a family night. Once a week, everyone did something together. No matter what it was. This week, it was a movie.

We sat on the couch and Riker put in some movie I'd never heard of. He sat back on the couch and grabbed the remote, that's when Ross walked in. He sat, what seemed to be, as far from me as possible.

Everyone felt the tension. We sat through the movie without a word. At least Ross and I did. Everyone else laughed or made a comment every few minutes, but Ross kept his eyes on the movie and I kept my eyes mostly on him. I kept glancing over, but he never looked at me. I'd been staying there a few days at this point and to him, it was like I wasn't even there.

I thought maybe after our brief talk upstairs a few weeks prior that things would be at least a little normal, but evidently I was wrong. I hoped maybe seeing each other so much would cause things to slowly get better. But I learned that time does heal things, yes, but you can't rely on time to fix everything. Not on its own at least. You have to put some effort into things for them to get better. Rydel was right, I just have to talk to him.

He left just as the movie was finishing. I had to say something. I knew I needed to do it while I still had my confidence. It wasn't too late when the movie ended, but once it finished I said goodnight to everyone and went upstairs. The closer I got to his room the more nervous I got, and the harder I tried to fight it off. I couldn't let fear consume me. That's what got me into this mess in the first place.

I knocked on his door lightly and heard shuffling around afterward. I waited a few moments before the door finally opened. His fingers ran through his hair and he looked at me blankly. I couldn't read him. I was always able to read him.

"Sorry...if I bothered you." I said.
He shook his head and leaned against the door frame,"You didn't." He replied. Again, expressionlessly.
I nodded and moved my hair out of my face, a nervous habit,"Do you have a minute? I think we should...you know talk."
"About what?"

About what? I thought it was obvious. No, it was obvious. What else could I possibly have to talk to him about that would cause me to knock on his door at 11:45 at night when I was sure he was alone.

"About what happen when I left, what we said or didn't say. I shouldn't have left like that." I was going to go on, but he didn't give me the chance.
"You mean what you said." He said. I may not have been able to fully read him, but I could see without a doubt, he was still mad. He shrugged,"Sounded like you said everything you needed to."
"But I shouldn't of said it." I said quickly while he paused.
"No you should've said it sooner. You just dropped it on me on your way out the door." He was getting more frustrated with me, and I could feel myself getting frustrated that I couldn't get a word in.
"It wasn't easy for me to leave Ross, I didn't-"
"Love me?" His voice got loud enough to be heard over mine and I stopped. He nodded,"Yeah, you made that clear." He said lowly before closing the door, disappearing behind it.