She | Phan

F I V E

A/N This chapter I find really sad and I didn't like writing it very much. it gets better and it's ok. I know my writing is absolute shit I'm sorry

Dan p.o.v

I was shaking again tonight in my bed alone. I couldn't sleep at all because of all the noise from next-door.

Elise, Phil, and I had returned from our town adventure hours ago and Elise decided to stay over. I wasn't complaining cause we were on good terms now and she had stayed over many times before, but tonight was different.

I pulled out my headphones to try and drown out the loud moans and the short intakes of breath I heard from next-door but it didn't work. Phil usually is a very sweet innocent guy but tonight he decided to show a different side of himself.

It lasted longer than I presumed it would but soon they calmed down and were probably cuddling in Phil's bed now.

I walked out of my room to go to the kitchen and get a glass of water when I accidentally bumped into Phil who was walking out of his room. He was hot and sweaty and wearing nothing but boxers. When we collided he began blushing.

"Sorry dan." He said.

"It's fine." I mumbled and walked quickly away with my head down. I was slightly sad whenever they did anything together but tonight I was especially sad and slightly angry. Because after all my feelings toward Phil haven't changed. In fact they've gotten stronger as his and Elise's relationship has progressed.

Phil walked in soon after me and began to fix himself some water as well. We just stood there awkwardly silent until I spoke up.

"So you guys were having some fun in there weren't you." I said jokingly.

He turned a deep shade of red and punched me in the arm playfully.

"You weren't to quiet either I was trying to sleep." I said pretending to be angry.

"I'm sorry." He said now turning a deep crimson color.

"Well goodnight Phil I'm quite tired and you look exhausted as well. Can't imagine why though."

"I hate you dan. Goodnight."

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Phil p.o.v

Last night Elise decided to stay over. I think she enjoyed herself cause I know I did.

I woke up in my boxers with my arms wrapped around her. I slowly untangled myself and walked out to take a shower. Me and Dan had to film videos today so Elise was going out with friends.

In half an hour I was out of the shower and dressed. I walked into the kitchen to see a very tired looking dan attempting to cook pancakes.

"SHIT!" He yelled as he dropped a pancake on the ground for the third time.

"You know you could just let me do it Dan."

"No! I'm going to make these pancakes cause you always do it and I want to make a pancake for fucks sake."

"Dan you've made two and they're burnt to a crisp. You've drop three already so let me do it."

"Fiiiiiiiiiine" he moaned.

I made me and him pancakes and we talked about our video ideas for today. Elise soon left and we filmed a very strange and uncomfortable video where we tied our legs together and played DDR.

Soon we were sat on the couch replying to YouTube comments. At least I think that's what Dan's doing.

"Dan what are you looking at?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said nervously.

"Dan. Are you watching porn again?"

"No. Not this time."

"Then why won't you tell me?"

"It's nothing."

I grabbed his computer before he could stop me and saw he was watching pinof 1.

I laughed. "Dan why are you watching this it's so cringey?"

"No reason. I just like watching it. Remember how we were back then? Just two awkwardly tall quiet creepy teenagers who didn't know what they were doing and why. Now look at us. We've released a book, were going on tour, we have millions of subscribers, and were no longer scared of our future anymore. I'm really happy of how far we've come."

"Dan what brought this on? Why do you suddenly care so much?"

"No reason. I just realized how far we've come and how far were gonna go."

"Is this Elise's fault? Look I'm sorry about last night we should have taken that to her place to not disturb you. Dan you will always be my best friend. I know how you feel about me but my relationship changes nothing between us. Dan I'm so happy why can't you see that?"

"I can see that it's just I feel like you're spending more time with her than you are with me."

"Well of course I am she's my girlfriend."

"I'm sorry I've become such of a fucking burden to you and Elise." he said loudly his voice getting harsher.

"Leave Elise out of this she's done nothing wrong" My voice was getting considerably louder aswell

"PHIL SHES DONE EVERYTHING WRONG. SHE RUINED OUR FRIENDSHIP AND TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME ALL SHES DONE IS MAKE ME JEALOUS AND ANGRY NOT TO MENTION YOU CARE SO MUCH MORE ABOUT HER THAN YOU EVER DID OR EVER WILL CARE ABOUT ME."

He ran out of the room crying. I felt myself starting to cry aswell and soon just let it all out. Elise had done nothing wrong I dont know why he was mad. He looked so scared and angry and depressed when he ran off I just wanted to go and hug him. Wait why was I feeling bad for him he just hurt me and Elise. But I can't help feeling like he's not ok. After all we've been through together I was the one who helped him. But Ive never had to help him after I was the one who hurt him.

I shouldn't be feeling bad for him but I do. I shouldn't be feeling like I hurt him but I do. Why all of a sudden am I sorry when I've done nothing wrong?

I slowly got up and walked into dans room. He was asleep. I sat down on his bed beside him being careful not to wake him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He woke up and turned around.

"Phil what are you doing.'

"I'm sorry dan"

"For what?"

"Hurting you."

"You didnt hurt me Phil I hurt you. You've done nothing wrong I've just been an asshole towards you and Elise. You deserve a real relationship and a person who loves you who you can love in return. God I  love you so much Phil but I'm no longer your concern. You have a beautiful girl who cares so much for you. I do love you and I have for a while and always will probably but you are my friend and you love somebody else."

He looked at me with the most sad eyes but plastered a smile on his face. we lay there for a minute his face inches from mine and his arms around my shoulders and mine around his waist. of course this was just to comfort him wasn't it. I looked deep into his eyes and stared at him for a while. Suddenly I wasn't in control of myself anymore. His touch began sending fireworks through my body and his eyes melted me then I did it. Something I should have regretted after but didn't.