Beautiful hate (Joji x Reader Insert)

Chapter 23- Joji's POV

         "So are you two going to kiss and make up or what?" Ian nudged me, I let out a sigh and continued walking.
           "Why would we?"
"Do it for the shippers"
          "Why would we?"
"Don't act like you have no interest in her"
          "Why would I?"
"Look at her, she's hot, she's funny, she's smart, and best of all, she's totally into you."
          Ian raised his eyebrows, expecting a response but in return received none.
"Look I heard your whole conversation from the bathroom, and it's pretty awkward between you two..."
His face lit up and a smirk grew on his face.
"How about I make things interesting?"
I was intrigued, very intrigued.
         "How so?"
"Well... You'll see"
          "Why are you doing all of this?"
"I just think you two would be really happy together, that's all, and I mean you're both some of my best friends, and I just want you two to be happy"
          Ian offered a warm sincere smile, and for a moment I felt comfortable in the same state of mind that Ian had. Maybe she wasn't that bad, maybe we could be happy if we gave a relationship a chance... Maybe I'm absolutely insane for thinking that... Oh well... Here goes nothing...
          "Okay Ian, I hereby give you permission to 'make things interesting', if that's what It'll take to fix everything."
          His smirk grew wide once more, and I instantly felt regret for granting him allowance to play with our relationship as much as he pleased.

I feel dead inside
I have no motivation to do anything
And when I work up enough motivation to anything I utterly disappoint myself and I fall back into a pit of "I don't want to do anything but lay here"
I feel like I just want to sleep all the time and wake up only for the sole purpose of eating, I don't know what's the matter with me lmao it's still lit fam
~
GermanMade