I sat on my bed tears pouring from my eyes. What did I do. I really screwed things up. I'm having his baby for goodness sake I don't get to just walk away even if I wanted to, which is the farthest thing from what I want to do.
All I want right now is to melt into his arms while I fall apart because of what I've been through, because of what it makes me do. The realization that I hurt him makes me cry even harder. I lay down on my side a looking out the window while the tears pour out of my eyes.
"Gwen are you ok? I'm gonna put the boys to bed ok." Jen says quietly
"Ok" that's all I can get out between sobs.
I'm crying so hard I literally shake. Just as I start to slow down, I remember something else he would do to calm me down and I sob even harder. I roll over to get my phone to call him. I can't take this anymore,but when I roll over I see him in the door way.
"Blake what are you doing here? How did you get in?" I say as I sit up and move to the edge of the bed.
He takes a step into my room. He looks like hell. I cry harder at the sight of my cowboy broken, it hurts me more to know that I caused him to look like this. He takes a step toward me and then seems to realize what he was doing and stepped back.
"Gwen I'm sorry. What she said to you, what you thought I did." He pauses "I promised myself I would never be the reason for your tears and hear you are tears running down you face because of me. I'm so sorry Gwen." He looks down at his feet shoulders slumped forward.
"You have nothing to be sorry about. It's me that screwed everything up. Blake the way she talked to me before the show and how she figured out I'm pregnant." I cringe but then I feel his hand on my arm. "She said things I've been scared would be true. Scared your gonna wake up and see we don't fit together. Scared your gonna leave." Now I'm looking down at my feet.
Next thing I know I'm home. His arms are wrapped around me making me feel safe. Making the rest of the world disappear. I fall apart completely. I'm sobbing so loud I'm scared the boys will hear but I can't make it stop. I feel tears running down from his face but he never lets go of me. Finally tears dwindle and I'm left looking like a mess in my cowboys arms.
He finally pulls me back to look at my face. I see the pain in his eyes but something else too. I realize it's free, and I understand that he still thinks I'm leaving home. I suddenly need to reassure him that I'm not going anywhere.
"Gwen, please don't....."
"Blake let me talk first. I know what I saw but I know it wasn't like that for you. For her it was like that but you were just being a good friend. I'm so sorry I let my emotions get the best of me. I'm sorry for hurting you, and I'm sorry for running. All I wanted the whole time was you. Nothing else was gonna make me feel ok again. I need you Blake! I love you!" Tears are trailing down my cheeks again.
He reaches up with his thumb and wipes them away.
"Gwen when I realized you were gone the terrible feeling I had, for those weeks before you, was back. I can't live with that feeling. I love you and I've told you I'm not going anywhere but I need to know that you won't run again. We need to support each other in times that are hard not run from each other. I can't handle you leaving. And I can't live with the fear that your gonna run."
"Blake I promise you this won't happen again. I can't handle being away from you. I have a lot of issues to work through still but I want to work through them with you. I need you by my side forever. Please Blake I'm sorry!"
At that minute his lips smash into mine and I know we are going to be ok. I moan when he forces his tongue in my mouth and down my throat. There is a passion a need behind his kiss. I return his passion by starting the dance of our tongues. When I feel like I could ever get enough of this make out session he moves his kisses to my ear. As he nibbles and pulls on my ears I let out yet another moan. It feel so good. I'm dripping already he picks me up and suddenly he is on top of me getting rid of my pants. When my pant are strayed across the floor he shoves to figures into me.
"Damn sunshine you always so fucking wet form me."
With my belly growing we have started trying other ways than just the normal position. I pull him to the bed and he gets on his back. I straddle him on my knee. He positions himself at my entrance. I slide all the way down and sit there for a minute. I love the feeling of him inside me, I want it to last as long as possible. I take up a slow grind. He starts to thrust up to quicken the pass, but being on top has made me a little more daring. So I grab his hips and hold them to the bed.
"Damn sunshine are you trying to kill me? Please just a little faster."
"Not yet. I like watching you squirm." I say with a devil smile.
I continue this slow pace for a while long. The need begins to take over the will to be the dominant one. I pick up the past gradually, still try to hold the end off as long as we can stand. But again need out ways want. He begins thrusting up to meet my down. He reach his hand down and begins playing my clit.
"Come for me sunshine"
That's all it takes, I can't hold it off anymore. I explode straddling him. As I pulse around him I feel him begin to explode as his seed shoots into me. I milk every last drop from him before I let him leave me. We lay there my head on his chest my belly against his side. He hadn't bothered to move other than to wrap his arms around me.
"Gwen?"
"Yes cowboy."
" I'm NEVER going anywhere. The only place I belong is with you, I promise!"
"I know Blake. I'm sorry for letting my emotions get the best of me and forgetting that."
I love you Gwen."
"I love you too Blake"
