I shut down. It's just me in a big black empty space. It's hard to breath. It's hard to think. It's hard to move. It feels like everything is closing in on me. I'm spiraling out with no way to stop myself. That's when I hear it, the voice calling my name. I feel hands on my face as the world comes back into view.
"Gwen baby breath for me. Come on deep breath. Everything is gonna work out." He says sitting in front of my chair
I reach out to him, sliding off the chair into his lap. My arms go around his waist, and I burry my head into his chest. Tears pour from my eyes. His arms tighten around me. He sits there holding me rubbing circles on my back. Kingston slowly enters the room.
"Dad?" He says cautiously
"I...is everything ok? We heard mom crying."
"King everything is gonna be ok. Just keep your brothers upstairs for a little while I take care of mom."
"Ok... I love you mommy." He say before heading upstairs
...............................................................................................................................................
"Blake they can't go to him. What if he hurts them? I promised them he would never hurt them again. The lawyer said they all would have to go."
"Gwen we have to let the lawyer do his job. If they have to go we will give King my number and he can call if something happens. I will be there in a split second if he calls."
"I just don't get it. He hasn't called or text or emailed to check on them why care now?"
"I don't know what game he is playing right now, but he isn't going to win. I'm gonna keep you and the boys safe I promise. We need to talk to the boys though. They need to be prepared."
" I know I just don't know what to say."
"We just be honest with them. Tell them he wants to see them. Tell them there is a chance they will have to go see him. We need to make sure they know we are going to do everything in our power to not let it happen and that if it does we'll will be there as soon as they need us if something happens."
"Can u tell them? I don't want to cry in front of them."
"Of course baby. All you have to do is sit here I'll take care of the rest ok." I shake my head yes "Are you ready? Can I call them in?"
All I can do is nod my head. If I talk I'm scared I'll cry again.
"Boys can y'all come in here" Blake yells and we hear the little feet running our way
They poke their heads around the corner and slowly walk in, obviously feeling the tension. I can see King trying to read my face before he looks to Blake clearly trying to understand what's going on. They sit down on the couch while we sit on the coffee table in front of it.
"Daddy what's wrong? Why has mommy been crying?" Zuma asks
My heart almost collapses at the scared look on his face while his voice does nothing to hide the fact that he is scared either.
"Buddy we got some news today that's hard to understand. We want you boys to know that we love you more than you could possibly know."
Apollo runs to my lap and I pull him up placing my nose in his hair. His baby smell usually helps calm me however knowing this could be taken from me makes me even more emotional.
"I love you and mommy to." Zuma says
King is sitting back taking it all in, obviously trying to figure out what's wrong.
