Our minds are running faster than we knew possible. I look at Blake who looks at me, and the dam breaks both of us crying because we know something is wrong. We sit there for what feels like hours but in reality was probably only two minutes. Then the technician comes in followed by the doctor. The technician smiles at me before putting more gel on my belly and moving the probe around until she get the heart beat and picture that had clearly concerned her the first time. The doctor examines the screen before switching places with the technician. She probes and probes and then she simply states "ok". She gets up and leaves the room. No explanation of what's happening, nothing. Blake is fuming and terrified. The technician is helping me clean the gel of my stomach when we both startle.
"Is someone gonna tell us what's going on here." His voice boom with anger and pure fear lace through it
"Yes I'm sorry. I'm gonna take you to another room and the doctor will be in shortly to talk to you."
"Do we get pictures of the baby?" I ask in almost a whisper emotions controlling the volume
"Yes of course I'm sorry I'll go back through and print them out for you. If you will just follow me."
She takes us to another room that looks like a standard appointment room. Blake and I are losing our minds but don't talk for fear of losing control. So instead he sits in one chair and I sit on his lap, my head buried into his neck. His hand is drawling circles on my back. We sit there holding each other....waiting. Finally the moment we have been begging to come yet wishing it never would is here. There is a knock on the door and it opens as the doctor comes in.
"I'm really sorry to keep you waiting but I want to do some quick research before I came in to talk with you. So I'm sure you have already had a million scenarios run through your minds, but right now I want you to erase all of those and only listen to what I'm telling you. This is not worse case scenario here ok. The baby is fine right now, however looking on the ultrasound we do see an abnormality."
We both sitting there listening but I'm not able to wrap my head around it as the tears flow and Blake holds me. He is trying to be the strong one here but I know him. I can hear the fear in his voice.
"What kind of abnormality are we talking here?" Blake asks the looming question
"Well what we can see right now is your babies heart did not develop correctly. There is a hole in the wall that separates the two lower chambers of the heart, which are called the ventricles. Now while that is serious, there is a chance that as the baby continues to grow that hole will close on its own. If that happens then there is nothing to worry about, however there is also a chance that the hole will not close. Right now, before I overload you on what ifs, the thing to know is that while your baby is inside you it is safe this will not pose a problem until he is born."
"So what do we do know?" Blake asks
"Right now you go about as if everything is ok. Don't stress and worry yourselves over this. I want to have a repeat ultrasound done in two weeks to see if there has been any change in the size of the whole."
"So basically your telling us to wait and pray." He says
"Yes. That's exactly what you do right now." The doctor nods
...............................................................................................................................................
I don't remember what happens next. All I remember is standing next to the car holding each other. No tears from either of us. At this point we are to numb. Blake talks first.
