Blake left yesterday and today is the day the boys meet with the judge. Jen is watching Apollo and Addie while I take the two big boys. I feel like my stomach is in literal knots. I can't tell if I threw up this morning because of the nerves or from being pregnant. I'm hoping it's the nerves, cause that's all we really need is me sick the whole pregnancy again.
"Boys come on it's time to go." I yell down the hall
I get Addie out of her play saucer and take Apollo's hand leading them out to the car. I get Apollo in his car seat and Addie in hers when the oldest two come bounding out the front door to the car. We drop the babies off at Jena house and head to the court house.
...............................................................................................................................................
When we pull into the parking spot, I turn and look at my boys the look of fear on their faces is like knives to my heart. They look terrified and to be honest so am I. I know there was nothing we could do about it but I needed Blake here to calm me.
"Boys you ready to call dad?" They both nod
The FaceTime ring echoes through the uneasy silence of the car as I turn the phone for them to see Blake and Blake to see them.
"Hey there boys!" The southern drawl projects
No one answers so I pipe up.
"Hey babe"
"Are you guys getting ready to go in?"
Both of the boys sit there without saying a word.
"Boys I know it's hard but please cheer up some. No matter what the judge says, what did I tell you guys that I am gonna do?"
"Protect us." They both answer
"Exactly so chins up ok? Guess what mom and I talked about doing next weekend?"
"What?" King asks as both of their faces lift at the thought of having family fun.
"We talked about going to Oklahoma and staying on the ranch for a few days and then spending a few days at the lake house too. Does that sound like something you guys would want to do?"
"Yes please!" King yells
"Really dad? Can we? Please!!" Zuma yells
"Absolutely boys! I think we all deserve to have so care free fun. Right now though, I need you to be super brave for me. I need you to go in there and tell the judge what happened. Then when your done I'll be waiting by my phone ok?"
"Ok dad I love you" King says not sounding to confident but at least he doesn't look as upset as he did.
Zuma only nods looking at his lap. I bring the phone back to the front and on my face.
"You holding up ok baby?"
"Yeah" I answer but my voice betrays me as I sound anything but ok.
"I love you so much Gwen. We are gonna get through this ok? No matter what we are gonna make everything ok."
As a tear slides down my cheek I answer "I love you to Blake, with my whole heart and sole."
...............................................................................................................................................
"Boys are you ready?" I ask them as we get out of the car and are standing there looking at the building.
"Mommy what if she makes us go see him? I don't want to leave you and daddy. Why can't you just tell them we are staying with you?" Zuma asks as we walk toward the building
"Baby it's not up to me, I wish it was. No matter what just remember what daddy said. We will protect you." We stop and I pull both of them into a hug.
..............................................................................................................................................
We walk into the court room our lawyer Chris Brough is standing at one of the tables. The boys and I walk up to the first row of benches and he turns to us and smiles.
