Scarred

Chapter 4

During her English class with Anthony, he leaned over and whispered, "Tomorrow is the big beginning of the year roller-skating party."

Mrs. Schurr looked up from her computer solitaire and shushed him. He continued in a softer tone, "Did you want to come with us?"

She nodded, not acknowledging her disappointment when he'd said "us" instead of "me". To keep a conversation going, she added, "How many people actually go to that?"

"Quite a few. Most stay until the first couple-skate then leave in favor of a real party."

Mrs. Schurr didn't notice everyone else disregarding their work, so Charlotte raised her voice, too. "And what's their definition of a 'real party'?"

"Get drunk, have sex, and don't remember any of it in the morning."

"That's quite the mantra," she commented. "We aren't going to be doing that, are we?"

He laughed. "No, the band kids and us usually stay all night to keep the chaperones satisfied." The bell rang and he left her with the promise to give her more details.

****

After kicking off her shoes, Jenna played a game on her father's computer. She never enjoyed being home alone, but her sister was off doing who knows what, and her father was working late. She closed the game and tried not to think about the ache for her mom or the games they had played after school.

Jenna crossed the hall to her room and pulled out the secret journal she'd had for years. Ever since her mom had passed, she pretended that she was writing to her.

She took a pen and wrote:

I was hoping to make some friends today, but I don't think they like me, Mom. It's all my fault though. If I hadn't said that I played football, I might have made a good impression! I could still get them to like me I guess. I just have to think of something. I'm sure it will work out.

She stashed her journal back under the mattress where no one would find it.

****

In anatomy the next day, Charlotte met Samantha, another new girl, and they bonded by making sarcastic comments to each other under their breath. But when Mr. Klein left the room, trusting that they would read the next chapter on their own, the class erupted into various chatter, giving them the opportunity to have a real conversation up to the last bell.

Her uplifted spirits from the day fell once more when it reached six o' clock and her father wasn't home from work. It had been the same routine the past few weeks. Their dad wouldn't come home until seven or eight and they would pretend as if everything was fine that way. But it hurt Charlotte to see Jenna disappointed night after night.

Charlotte stood in the middle of the kitchen, pondering what to make. Who was she kidding? The night before they'd had toaster waffles and the night before that they'd had grilled cheese, which meant tonight was mac-and-cheese night.

She had Jenna set the table while she cooked—just because they weren't having a gourmet meal didn't mean that they couldn't set the table for one. Jenna and Charlotte sat across from each other with the pot of noodles in between, but it was part of their disheartening ritual to wait for their dad before digging in.

They waited for five minutes, then ten, and kept waiting, until Charlotte said, "We should eat before it gets too cold."

Jenna helped herself. Charlotte waited a tad longer before she scooped some on her plate, too, hoping their dad would come home. While they ate silently, one thought repeated itself in her mind over and over again: if Mom were here, it wouldn't be like this.