Scarred

Chapter 17

Charlotte kicked off her shoes with Jenna right behind her. School was the normal torture that day. It was exhausting to hide her scars every second. Even the slightest peek could send therapists knocking on her door.

But that particular day was good in the sense that Raelynn didn't act on her evil plot to destroy her. It was bad in the sense that everyone hated her. But what else was new? Sam seemed to despise her in the hallways and at lunch, but alone she acted like Charlotte's social life wasn't nonexistent. It bothered her, but not enough to confront Sam and possibly ruin the only friendship she had left.

Charlotte cranked her music and opened her book in the hopes that she could escape the agony that she currently referred to as "life". She ignored the pile of school work in the corner and became lost in the lives of fictional people.

That is until Jenna knocked on her door announcing that supper was ready. Time to pretend like her life wasn't pointless.

Her father stared at her across the table. He checked her plate, making sure there was a reasonable mound of pasta, but lucky for her, he never inspected her wrists.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"Fine." Charlotte casually laid her left arm flat on the table. The cool wood was refreshing against her burning skin.

"Anything interesting happen?"

"No."

His gaze bore into her for a pause before moving on to Jenna. "What about you, Jenna? How was your day?"

"Good."

"Did you do anything fun at recess?"

"Not really."

Their dad allowed the rest of the meal to unravel in silence. The only sounds heard were the scraping of forks on china and slurping of noodles.

Jenna stood up from the table with her plate full of uneaten food. She stepped to make her exit, but their father stopped her.

"You've hardly touched your food, Jenna."

"I'm not feeling very good." Her eyes remained downcast.

"I can take your temperature. You might have a fever."

"No." She cleared her throat. "No, it's just my stomach. I'll feel better tomorrow."

Jenna scraped the food into the trash and put her plate in the dishwasher before escaping to her room. The door closed with a soft yet definite thud.

"Do you have a lot of homework tonight?"

"I guess." She yawned. "I should go get started on that."

"Maybe we can watch a movie together this weekend?" Her dad was obsessed with family bonding now. He said it was to keep them from growing apart, but she speculated if it was actually to prevent her from becoming depressed.

"Sounds good." She tugged on her sleeve a final time before leaving him upstairs.

She studied for hours before her eyes drifted closed, only to wake again and stare at the ceiling until her alarm went off. Some nights she'd venture upstairs, but others she spent wallowing in self-hate.

Wherever she ended up, she couldn't escape the voice.

****

Jenna was tempted to take the apple. She imagined biting into its hard red skin and the juice flooding into her mouth. Her mouth watered at the thought of it, but she blatantly ignored the fruit and carried two bottles of water to her room.

She worked out using her new exercise routine of sit-ups and leg-lifts. She'd do a set of each then she'd take a break and drink half a bottle of water. By the time she had finished the second bottle and showered, it was supper time.

Jenna moved her food around on her plate, strategically placing it to look as if she had eaten more. The amount of carbs in pasta revolted her. Anytime her stomach complained, she reminded it that she would have to do twenty sets of her routine if she wanted to work that off.

Her father watched Charlotte with concern filling his stupid brown eyes. She screamed at him in her mind. She wanted him to see that she wasn't eating. She wanted him to know what was happening. Except at the same time, she was scared of the look in his eyes when she would tell him. She was scared they would make her stop, and she couldn't risk that.

"What about you, Jenna? How was your day?" Her father's attention broke through her reverie.

The words she wished to speak were on her tongue, threatening to spill. Her day was terrible. Being ignored by her classmates was getting old, but she couldn't do anything about it. She had eaten only four bites of her sandwich because at breakfast she'd been a pig and eaten two oranges. Shawn had seen her alone at lunch and hadn't even smiled at her. He ignored her at recess. Then to top it all off, Ellie brought treats for her birthday, and Jenna was forced to eat it in the fear of being considered rude.

"Good," she said. The word was bitter in her mouth.

She continued to play with her food until she determined that enough time had passed for her to excuse herself.

"You've hardly touched your food, Jenna," her dad noted.

He always noticed her at the most inopportune moments. "I'm not feeling very good."

When he offered to take her temperature, she instantly declined and reassured him that she'd feel better tomorrow. She regretted saying that. It meant she'd have to eat at supper if she wanted him to remain clueless.

Jenna closed the door to her room and let out a pent-up breath. She returned to her exercises, using water from her secret cache.

She was still awake when she heard her father go to bed. She poked her head out the door then slipped into the bathroom. Her heart pounded as she waited for the number to appear. What if she hadn't lost any weight? What if she had gained weight?

Her worries ceased when the scale revealed that she had lost another two pounds within the day. Maybe the voice would allow her to sleep tonight.

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i don't even know what to say anymore