Scarred

Chapter 29

Charlotte opened her eyes. She was disappointed to find herself in another hospital. Her dad and Julie were discussing in hushed tones across the room. She had the idea that it was about her rant earlier. They didn't acknowledge her.

She leaned her head against the wall but perked up when a doctor walked in and found her dad. He spoke to him, but she couldn't gauge anything from her father's reaction. Uncertainly, she wound her way through the rows of chairs over to them.

The doctor glanced at her and smiled. He was middle-aged with bags under his kind eyes and stubble on his chin. He had a gentle aura about him. After she heard the news, she would decide whether or not she liked him.

He shook her dad's hand and left.

"What did he say?"

"He said she's been moved to the ICU."

"So she's okay?" The worry began to disappear. It wasn't going to be like before. It wasn't going to be a repeat of their mom.

His words shattered her heart. "Not necessarily."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Nope, definitely did not like him.

"The coma she entered was triggered by the liver damage. Most people don't wake up from these apparently." She didn't know how he could speak those words without showing any emotion or shedding a single tear.

Charlotte looked up at the ceiling, holding onto her composure. When she had somewhat recovered, she asked, "Can we go see her?"

He nodded.

Without another word, she headed to the ICU and her sister's room. Charlotte peeked through the window, but she could only see part of the bed. She placed a hand on the door handle and steeled herself.

She walked in.

Jenna looked like a corpse, and if the machine had not been marking each heartbeat, she would have assumed the worst. Her skin was a stark white and her thin hair was a mane around her head. The fact that she wouldn't wake up again hung limply over the room. The sterile smell and beeping machines were so real that it made Charlotte uncomfortable.

She sat down in the chair by her bed. She brushed her sister's hair away and kissed her forehead. A tear escaped and she swiped at it angrily. She smoothed down Jenna's hair, arranging it around her face. Then taking Jenna's hand, she sang their mother's lullaby. After she had sung the last note, she said, "I wish I could've told you how sorry I am for leaving you at school. I really am. I didn't think you would've understood what I was going through with Raelynn and everything else, but I guess you were experiencing the same exact thing."

She squeezed her hand. "How about I tell you my story, and you tell me yours? Deal?"

She paused, hoping for an answer. The only response given to her was the beeping of the machines and a hitch in the steady breathing. She swallowed painfully while tears blurred her vision. It didn't stop her from telling her everything.

At the end of her story, she waited for the other half of their deal, but nothing came.

****

The week after the day in the garden, Charlotte received a call from her dad. Fifteen minutes earlier, he had picked her and Jenna up from school. Confused, she answered.

"Sadie's coming to pick you two up. Be ready to go." His voice was worn and his words chipped.

"Okay." Charlotte placed a hand over the phone and repeated it to Jenna. She put the phone back to her ear and asked, "What's going on?"

For a minute all she could hear was loud beeps and his short breaths, but then he replied, "She had another seizure."

Dread sunk in. "Is she . . . ?" Charlotte couldn't finish.

"No."

Charlotte heard an engine running outside. "Sadie's here. We'll be there soon."

She hung up and sprinted to the car. It was only when she was buckled in and Sadie was pulling out of the driveway that she touched the envelope in her pocket. She contemplated reading what she had written, but she couldn't gather the courage.

They found her dad in the waiting room hunched over in his seat. He raised his head and Charlotte almost gasped. His eyes were red and his messy brown hair hung haphazardly in his haggard face. He seemed to have aged ten years within the previous half hour.

Her dad answered their questions with a single movement of his head.

A black hole sucked everything out of her until all that was left was the gaping hole in her chest. She sank to her knees in front of him. She was numb all over. Her mouth moved silently until she formed the right words. "No. She can't be. She was supposed to help me pick out a homecoming dress. She promised she would be okay. She promised."

The sobs caught up before she finished and she wailed out the last word. She leaned her forehead against her dad's knee and cried. Jenna kneeled down beside her. Charlotte hugged her sister tight.

****

Charlotte awoke to her dad's hand on her shoulder. He watched her with worried eyes. She turned her head and checked on Jenna. Nothing had changed.

"I'm not leaving her."

"I'm not either." He dragged a chair over by her. She leaned her head against his shoulder and fell back asleep.

****

Her side had come to the funeral, although they never looked at Charlotte's father and only smiled thinly at her and Jenna. It was a relief when her dad's parents moved them along.

The service was long, but it didn't feel real to Charlotte, not until the casket was above the hole in the ground. That was when Charlotte broke down into sobs, clutching Jenna's hand. It was the first time she'd seen her dad cry.

Everyone waited for them to leave first, before saying their own final goodbye, and she had to get out of there.

Stumbling forward, she touched her mother's casket and stared at the red flowers on top. She reached out and caressed the fabric of the ribbons that read "Mother" and "Wife". Before she broke down even more, she kissed the wood, squeezing her eyes shut and wishing it was a nightmare. She patted the smooth surface one last time before staggering away, tears flowing freely down her face.

********

don't grow up