Love, Cancer, and Me // Book 1 // Brendon Urie

Chapter 27: No Love In My Heart

A/N: I am so sorry that I haven't uploaded. I had writer's block for quite a bit, but I'm glad to be back.

~Addilyn's POV~

   It was the next day and I was still in the hospital. Brendon stayed overnight and he's still sleeping. Currently, it's 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I look over at Brendon who is sleeping in the chair next to my bed snoring softly. Do I like-like Brendon? Or love? Does he actually love me like he says he does? I mean he's like a brother to me. All these thoughts kept swarming my head and I hadn't realized that I was staring at Brendon. "Hey, can't sleep?" He asked, clearing my thoughts. Brendon was staring at me at me and I turned a deep red.

   I turned the other way, looking out the window, "Yeah."

   My head was turned to face Brendon again, "What's wrong?"

   "N-nothing." Brendon wasn't convinced. "Seriously, nothing's wrong."

   "I can see in your eyes that there's something wrong." I didn't know what to say. I just saw there staring into his brown eyes. There was this feeling inside me that wanted me to cry, but I couldn't. I have cried too much already. "Addilyn?"

   "What?"

   "What is wrong?" Concern filled Brendon's face, making me want to ask him.

   I looked down, "I've just been thinking a lot."

   "About?" Brendon's finger was still under my chin.

   "Well, um, about what you said."

   "Which is?"

   "That you love me." He stayed silent, still staring into my eyes. "D-do you really?"

   "Addilyn, there's no space in my heart where I don't wanna love you." Now, I was the silent one. A tear rolled down my face. Honestly, no one has ever said that to me. Brendon wiped the tear away and smiled.

   "B-but what if there is no room for love in my heart." His smile faded and his eyes started to sparkle. Oh no, please don't cry Brendon.

   "What do you mean?"

   "I haven't fallen in love for a while. It's like all the love in my heart just faded away. I don't even know what love is anymore." There were tears strolling down Brendon's face now. I hugged him. "But for some reason, everytime I'm around you my heart beats so fast. Everytime we hug I just feel so safe in your arms. Everytime you laugh and smile, I wanna laugh and smile. Everytime I go to bed, you are in my head. Why is that?"

~Brendon's POV~

   God, I want to kiss this girl so badly. I pulled away from her, "Addilyn, when I'm around you my hearts beats so fast too. When we hug, I never want to let you go. When you laugh and smile, I wanna laugh and smile. I can never go to sleep at night because I'm always thinking about you and hoping you're okay." She gave me a tiny cute smile and yawns quietly. "Let's go to bed." Addilyn moves over on her bed and pats to the spot next to her. I chuckle and lay down on the bed, cuddling her. We both sleep instantly.