The Depression Book

Part 5

Elenas P.O.V

2/09/2009

My date was a disaster.I mean it went well at first but then it went downhill.What guy kisses another girl when he's on a date with a girl already? I honestly don't know.After I ran away from him,I can't even bring myself to say his name,I went home and rushed into the bathroom and turned the lock on the door so none could walk in on what I was about to do.

I pulled out my knife.Steel ,shiny and spotless.All my negative emotions started to pump through my bloodstream like adrenaline.Silent tears started to flow down my face as the knife cutted deeply into my arm.After the first cut,I just couldn't stop .My hand that held possession of the knife seemed to have a independent mind of its own,a willpower stronger than my reasoning.

When I finished , I just stared at my deep wounds and my red,bloody knife for a few minutes.I put a baggy jacket on ,to hide the fresh blood.I cleaned the knife ,so it was spotless once more and put it in its hiding spot so none knew of its existence or purpose.I cleaned away any trace of blood that was left on the sink or floor.I scanned around the bathroom,running a mental checklist in my head,to see if I had forgotten to clear evidence.Everything was gone.

I walked upstairs to my room,locked the door,plugged in my earphones,blasted out music and started browsing through my phone.When I saw the zillion of text messages received from Mason,I read one,and deleted the rest.He said he was sorry, that he tried his hardest to resist the kiss ,that he never intended to ever hurt me,all that soppy shit.

I went to sleep with images of demons dancing,screeching negativity and replaying the kiss scene between Mason and that girl.

The next day at school...

I walked into German,third class of the day.I groaned.I would have to face Mason.When I walked in , I hoped Mason wouldn't spot me,but luck apparently wasn't on my side that morning,or any morning for that matter.

"Elena ,over here!" he yelled,waving his arms like a maniac.I walked over briskly primarily because I wanted the weird looks my way to stop,I just wanted to be invisible right now. "What do you want?" I said coldly.His keen expression fell into sadness." I just wanted to explain about last night in case you didn't check your phone last night." he answered."I read them alright.I just don't believe it.I actually believed you were different,but your just another one of the typical ego guys." I said.And before I could give him a chance to justify himself,I walked away to the other side of the room and sat down,waiting for the German lesson to commence.

After a very lonesome lunch ,I opened my locker for my next three classes.In front of my books were roses ,chocolates,and a pretty bracelet.On my locker door were Sticky Notes stuck on that said things like : I like you, Your pretty,Your the best,My life would suck without you. And there was a packet of sugary love hearts that had the same kind of messages engraved on them.I let a little innocent smile slip.But then I snapped back to reality. He KISSED ANOTHER GIRL ON YOUR FIRST DATE! HE CANT BE TRUSTED!! I thought to myself.

I spotted him talking to a group of guys I didn't know,not so faraway.I walked over to him."Yeah?" he prompted when I didn't speak." I need to talk to you.Alone." I said ,glancing at his company." Alright" he sighed.When we reached a respectable distance from his friends,I said " Why did you leave me a bunch of flowers sweets and love notes in my locker?" He grinned." I like you and I want to prove I'm not a simplistic typical jerk." " Its got to stop" I said. He looked confused .
"Why?" he asked.I didn't know how to answer his question truthfully without it being complicated so I lied. " Because I have a boyfriend ,that's why" I answered.I can't believe that I said that!! Why did I say that? I don't know.

All I know is since I said that,Mason hasn't texted or called me since.