Dear E,
I have decided to change. Change me. All of me. My sense of humor, my body, my personality, and everything that goes along with it.
If you don't like me obviously I'm just not likable. I'll change, I promise. By your birthday (4 days) I will have fully changed one bad thing about me. I promise. It will happen and by your birthday in 2014 I will have changed so much you will at least like me as a friend. It's my goal, my personal secret goal, only between you and me.
Maybe I'm as bad as they say. So if I change people will like me, and so will you, right? I'll be more girlie, and sweet, and smart, and nice, and less ugly hopefully. I'll wear lip gloss and eyeliner, I'll straighten or curl my hair (whichever you prefer). I'll wear tighter clothes if that's what you want, I'll starve myself and run 3 miles a day if that's what it will take.
I've been thinking about the thing I'll fix about me in the next 4 days, I think I'll work on being nicer. I will be super sweet by your birthday (Halloween).
I'm tired. Joe even started to treat me like shit, Well not liek shit, more like I don't exist. Treating me like a pile of shit is your job. It's fine by me though, if that's what makes you happy. I don't think it makes you happy, as much as it entertains you. It entertains me to. Except underneath the laughing and smiling and silly glaring, it truly hurts me. But when you smile it makes me feel all warm inside. And not to mention when you laguh, oooooohhhh baby. Hahaha.
Your sweet voice when I was throwing orange peels at you during lunch. "Aww C'mon!! I wanna eat it!" Then your sweet laugh. Because of me. I only wish I had said Ethaniel you nasty little boy. That always makes you laugh. I remember the first time Me, Alyson and Allyson texted you that, then I asked you if you laughed adn you said yeah. I mean c'mon, when you add iel to the end of a name how can you not laugh? XD
Ethaniel, Alysoniel, Franiel, Staniel. It's preeeeetttttttttyyyy funny.
Anyway I might take a nap or something. I hope you have and have had a wonderful day.
