Dear E,
I don't feel like talking. I don't ever want to talk again. I want to become silent, slip into the shadows, become a ghost. I don't ever want to be noticed ever again. I want to stay away from the world, to be unknown and invisible. I don't know why I feel this way, I just do.
I wish no one knew my name. When someone says my name, everyone is left in confusion. I wish I was one of those people who no one knows, no one talks to, no one cares about. I could dissapear and no one would notice. I wish I didn't have a family or friends, so that I could slip in and out of this place without anyone noticing. I could walk out of this house, out into the cold with nothing but a t-shirt and shorts on and go where ever I want. I wish I could do anything I want without people caring. I wish I could walk around in a tank top and jeans, with bruises and cuts all over and no one would notice, no one would care.
If I tried to do any of that I would end up in a mental institution.
I need a reason kid. I need a reason. I don't know why, or what for but I just do.
I'm tired, and I don't feel good, and I wish I wasn't alive. But then I wish I could live forever. I confuse even myself. I'm beginning to feel like I'm trapped in my own mind. I could talk to everyone for days and days on end and I could still feel trapped. I feel stuck and broken.
