3-23-14

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Dear E,

I'm so tired. Not depressed tired, and not physically tired. mentally I'm just.......... tired. I liked him, for a while. And I knew it was a long shot, becasue we went out before and it didn't work out, but now I know I was being completely and totally stupid. We wouldn't look good together, and he's just.......... I don't know. Not my 'type', I guess. I don't really have a type though, do I? I mean there's you, tall, cute, popular, funny. There's him, short, thin, funny, annoying. There's teh one before him, and even a little before you, older, cute, flawed, kinda tall. There's only one thing all of you have in common, you aren't, won't and probably never will be mine. Heartbreak after heartbreak, and I just can't get enough. 

Why does my heart hurt all the time? Why do I feel like I'm sick, like my stomach could explode at any second? Why do I feel insane, like no one could even try to understand what's in my head? Sometimes I wonder, is this what crazy feels like? Is this how insane criminals feel? Or is it just me, it's only me that feels like this.

Sometimes I wonder if you feel this way. Do you feel like this, any time at all?

Do you feel like you're going crazy?

Does reality ever get a little hazy?

Do you get sad when it's rainy?

Do you ever feel ever slightly zany?

I feel insane,

my head feels this intense pain.

There are things I could never say,

Or they'd probably send me away.

And sometimes I wonder do you feel the same?

Dear E,Where stories live. Discover now