Real Not Real

<>Astronomy Tower<>

"Actually, can you check Venus's position?" Marlene asked as she dropped her things in the middle of the room. Sirius nodded and strolled over to the nearest telescope. As he pressed his eye to it, he heard the scritch-scratch of her quill against parchment behind him.
"Found it. It's right above..." he turned and realized she wasn't listening. With a groan, he sat, pulled her homework to his lap and filled in the answer for her.
"Alright," she announced, unaware that he had been staring daggers into her hair for the past five minutes. "The plan."
"Dear Merlin..." Sirius groaned. Marlene punched his shoulder.
"Step 1: For the first week, we condition Evans into coming to me for advice," Marlene stated. "Not that it should be too hard, Lovie Williams and I are her closest friends."
Sirius folded his arms, frowning. "Why the bloody hell is that necessary?"
"Patience, Black. Ever heard of it? Step 2: Black sets off some situation where the two Heads can't manage to work together. Incidentally, I just realized that your initials spell 'sob'. Potter's help may be required, Evans is forbidden to know about the interference." She glanced up at him to make sure he was listening.
"Okay..." He wasn't. She snapped a finger in his face, causing him to jerk back in surprise, and repeated the step.
"Step 3: McKinnon--me--"
"Obviously." Sirius smirked at her frustrated expression.
"Shut it, Black. I will have to be perfectly positioned to be there for Evans to rant to. Side note: You did use Muffliato on the doors, right?"
"Relax. And, I forgot." Sirius pulled out his wand sheepishly.
"Idiot."
"Muffliato. Keep going, I'm so interested."
"Step--ugh, I forgot. Evans rants to me, I suggest fake-hooking up to her. She'll be unconvinced, obviously. Here's where Fate comes into play."
"If we're relying on fate," Sirius interrupted, "then this isn't going to work.
"Fine," she snapped, out of patience. "The Handbook says that when a situation gets out of control, Dumbledore will owl the two Heads with a warning before they get replaced. So, if we control the, er, situation so that it focuses on the fact that the two Heads can hardly stand each other's presence, Dumbledore's letter should address the fact."
"I'm not liking the word 'should'."
"Oh, well. Get over yourself. Step-who-bloody-cares: Dumbledore owls the heads, and I convince Lily to some degree that it's a good idea to fake-hook up with Potter. Then I talk to Potter and tell him what a good idea it would be to fake-hook up with Evans, so that when we both get them into a room alone, they--oh shut up!"
"I didn't say anything!" Sirius protested, but he was smirking.
"Git. Into a room alone," Marlene pushed on, "so they can talk about fake-hooking up. And we need to impress that they have to fool the entire school so that they can handle being Head more... cordially."
"Kiss kiss fall in love," Sirius added, grinning.
Marlene closed the handbook, grinning broadly. "I'm a genius matchmaker."
"What am I, chopped liver?" Sirius laid a hand across his heart and closed his eyes dramatically.
"You might as well have been," she informed him. "You did nothing."
"Mmm, I did your homework," he pointed out.
"Well. I can upgrade you from chopped liver to chopped spleen."
"You call that an upgrade?"

A/N: Please vote and comment if you liked this chapter! James and Lily interaction in the next chapter, I believe!