Dark Lust

Chapter Twelve

"What do you mean you know what happened?" I asked again, unsure if I was actually hearing it all correctly. 

"Mike told us everything, we've known. We just... You can't press charges, Chester. It's a miracle we got him out of that mental institution so fast and managed to plead insanity. Sam tried so hard to get him in trouble, but we can't do that and we hope you understand. The band-"

"So you expect me to just sit here, get back on drugs, probably get hurt by Mike again... just so the fucking band can continue? Fuck you guys! Rob had me thinking like I lost my goddamn mind! Do you have any idea how it feels to go through what I did? Maybe you all can go one at a time into my basement with Mike for as long as I was in there and endure all the same shit I had to put up with!" 

"Chester-" Brad tried again, but was failing miserably at calming me down.

"He killed my fucking wife! He killed her! He killed her, guys," My voice grew soft by the end, turning into whimpers that tugged at the tears in my eyes. "He killed Talinda... The one person who never left me or hurt me."

"She was going to leave you," Mike muttered and my gaze snapped up to him instantly, wanting nothing more than to rip his heart out. I focused on the feeling of the coke within me and used it to calm down slightly. 

"Are you all just taking his side? Are you going to look the other way if he hurts me? I need to know now, before I try to reach out for help again," I said softly, looking into the eyes of each of my bandmates, who looked down at their feet. After a moment of nobody replying, I stood and headed to the door. "At least your precious band is safe."

With that, I left.

-

Deciding to return to the scene of the crime was a huge mistake. With my past issues, I found that going back to where it all happened can hurt, but it makes you feel stronger when you leave. The emotions were no where near the same as I approached my house, grabbing the spare key from under the mat. I wondered if Mike cleaned up the basement. 

I hesitated before unlocking my house that I realized hadn't been touched since they searched it for Mike and I when everything was going to hell. I stepped inside and eyed the spiderwebs that were beginning to take over the corners of the ceiling and walls. The house was colder than I remembered it, emptier, heartless. It used to be my place of privacy with my beautiful wife where we lived together in harmony and love, the house used to be full of only good vibes, but is now overtaken by an atmosphere of betrayal, loss, and heartbreak.

I went to my bedroom first, where everything began, taking my time up the stairs as I made my way into the barren room that made my heart clench as I thought about all the times I woke up with Talinda by my side, something I'll never get to wake up to again. I saw the duct tape Mike tried to silence me with laying on the floor, dust taking away the stickiness of the tape. I threw it away, trying not to think much of it.

I sat down on the corner of my bed and buried my face in my hands, feeling hot tears drip down from my eyes and trail off my face and onto the cool, wooden floors beneath my feet. I couldn't believe the guys would take Mike's side over mine, but who knows what they actually know? Mike could have easily filled their heads with lies, manipulated by his power over the band. Those people that were talking to me, trying to convince me that the band was more important than my safety, they are not my friends. They are not the band I started with nor are they the people I've surrounded myself with over the years. 

I left everyone, for them. I tightened my circle to only us when they lead me to believe they were all I'd ever need. I trusted them, spent years around these people who I now realize are strangers living in the shells of my friends' skin. They were beginning to turn into what Mike has become. Has this always just been laying beneath the surface and I never noticed after so many years? Were they always this focused on the band and not my physical being? Most importantly, were they ever my friends? I thought of them as family and now I'm debating whether or not they were ever my friends. What happened? When did everything turn to shit?

I decided everything was too insane to be true. Surely the guys would never have said the things they did if Mike weren't in the room. He must've persuaded them somehow or perhaps even threatened. I need to find out what's going on and why the guys I thought were my family are suddenly turning on me. Was it something I did? I have to find out, I can't just sit around and wait for Mike to turn up again and hurt me or wait until they decide it's time to make more music and have to drag me back into the studio. 

I need to get them all over here - without Mike - and get to the bottom of all this. There's no way they could all turn on me so suddenly and so harshly without being pushed by some force. Something caused this and I'm going to figure out what and try to solve this before things get much, much worse. For my sake and the others', I need to get this taken care of. I can't lose everyone just because of Mike. I won't let him do that to me. He already did enough.