Dark Lust

Chapter Eleven

The guys called me up, claiming we all needed time together if we were going to push past the experiences Mike and I went through. I wanted to lash out at them, tell them that I'd rather die than sit next to the man who held me captive, raped me, and tried to kill me, but I decided to humor them - told them I was alright and that I'd come around to Mike's house in an hour, giving me plenty of time to do all the things that needed to be done.

I had bleached my hair almost immediately after finding it resting in my bathroom and afterwards, stuck the dog-collar chocker around my neck, slipping in the long abandoned lip ring soon after. I found the plaid pajama pants I used to commonly wear back in the day and hesitated, before putting them on over my slim legs. I stuck with a simple, white tank top and an old, baggy sweatshirt filled with holes.

I sighed deeply as I grabbed the baggy containing a snowy-white powder that I sorted into a couple of straight lines. I went in, snorting it and rubbing my nose soon after, willing it not to bleed. Thankfully, there was only a little bit of discharge and I went over to the door, slipping on a pair of black boots I used to love, until I had realized they were extremely uncomfortable and wearing away. I didn't care this time, although, and tightened the laces as I thought about seeing Mike again. 

I hardly even saw him since I woke up, let alone talk to him. I could only imagine the stares he'll give me and the memories that'll swarm my brain once I look into those haunting eyes that spoke of nothing but a dark lust that burned into my skin as his eyes crawled all over it. I shivered slightly just at the thought and struggled to will myself out of the hotel room that had now become my save haven. 

With an agonizing groan of despair, I managed to find my way out and to the nearest bus stop. I waited for the next public transport to arrive, earning a few strange stares when it came. I suppose I looked as though I just walked out of a teenage punk's closet. With the thought in mind, I couldn't help but chuckle a little, knowing very well that I was much less dangerous than what most of the people around me probably believed.

"Excuse me, are you Chester Bennington?" A woman asked me, a small smile toying with her lips. I pursed mine, hesitating before nodding. "Oh, I hardly recognized you! Going back to the good old Hybrid Theory days I see!" 

"Yeah," I chuckled lightly, hoping the fan would just pass on, but instead, she took a seat right next to me.

"I used to love you guys back in the day, but I kind of just grew out of it, you know? I still love the music, just broke away from that rebellious teenager and became a mother. I actually nearly forgot how much I used to love Linkin Park until I heard about you all in the news," She smiled softly and put a hand on my knee. "Happy to see you out and about."

"What's being said?" I frowned, hoping it wasn't anything too personal or regarding Mike and I's situation at hand. 

"Well, the news started a while back... They said your bandmate held you hostage in your own house and that he put you into a coma. About a week after, they said he was successfully admitted into a mental institution. Two months later, he was out and claimed to be healthier than ever, but you were still in your coma, until just recently, where they reported your revival," She grinned brightly as she finished and eyed me up and down, frowning. "I take it things between you and your bandmate aren't clear yet."

"Not really," I sighed deeply, running a hand through my newly blonde hair. "I've only just woken up and more happened than what he said did. My friends don't believe me and think it was all apart of some coma induced dream."

"Well, if it's any constellation, I can tell you're not lying and I believe you. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but taking another look at you and your eyes say it all... I'm so sorry you went through something so horrible, especially considering it involves someone you trust," She looked away from me as the bus stopped, the doors opening. I carefully rose out of my seat.

"Thank you for this talk... I think it helped more than you know," I gave the woman a soft smile and a small wave of goodbye as I headed towards the exit. 

My thoughts still swarming around the stranger and I's conversation were immediately interrupted by my emotions as they overcame me, looking onto Mike's house. I could only imagine how I'll feel when I have to go back to my own home. Something about the way the house looked made me tremble in fear, but noticing the other guys' cars parked soothed my nerves slightly, as well as the drugs that were still coursing through me.

Without much more hesitation, I made my way up the sidewalk and to the front door. I paused, wondering how to go about announcing my arrival. Apart of me almost walked right in, like I used to before Mike turned on me, but now I was faced with the uncomfortable option of ringing the doorbell or knocking. I decided to press the button, my hand shaking with an extreme fear that surged through me at the thought that Mike could answer the door and yank me in, shove me somewhere where the guys wouldn't notice and tell them I left or never came. 

I noticed my breath was picking up at a remarkable pace and tears burned my eyes with a strong force. I shivered slightly, though it was quite warm outside and I was wearing a sweatshirt. Upon realizing this, I grew hot all of a sudden and tore off the sweatshirt, unaware of the fact that the door had opened and Dave was standing in the doorframe. I panted slightly, my breathes still out of whack. Phoenix put a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump. I shivered, wanting to put the sweatshirt back on again, but didn't want to seem inconspicuous. 

"Oh, hey, sorry. I didn't see you there," I tried to compose myself quickly, forgetting about worrying Phoenix and slipping my sweatshirt back on as I thought more about what Mike could more easily get to with just a tank top on. The more layers, the harder it would be for him to take me over completely again. 

"Don't worry about it, come on in," Phoenix smiled softly, trying to support me in the war within my head. He took my arm, guiding me inside and to the den, where everyone except Mike sat. "Mike's up in the bathroom right now, but he'll be down soon."

"Okay," I struggled to get out and sat next to Joe, who suddenly jumped at me and engulfed me in a tight hug, which I returned, tears coming to my eyes as he didn't let go. I found it odd that none of them spoke of my sudden change in wardrobe or hair color. 

"I missed you, Chester. It wasn't the same without you," Joe murmured to me, just loud enough for me to hear. I wondered what was up with him when he pulled away, tears brimming his eyes. He brushed them away quickly when he heard the bathroom door open and footsteps come downstairs. I stiffened and tried to calm myself down, but my leg was bouncing on it's own, giving away how nervous I actually was. 

"Hey," Mike simply said to me as he came into the room, sitting in the chair that wasn't occupied, which happened to be straight across from where I was sitting. I wondered if Mike somehow managed to plan that out, but realized I was probably just being paranoid. 

"We need to talk," Brad finally spoke up and all eyes went to him. He looked slightly unnerved for a moment before his gaze found me, his features softening. "Chester... We know."

"You know?" I echoed, unsure what he meant. 

"We know what happened between you and Mike."