A Moment Too Soon (Yaoi boyxboy)

Nowaki

I ran away from them again. Again...couldn't I even go one day without having a fit of emotions wash over me? Was I seriously unable to do anything without feeling like I needed to get away? I couldn't even let my own thoughts wander without ending up in tears like a child. It made me so mad that I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand myself at all. I felt my anger boil even more as I entered my house.

Every time I walked across that driveway it made me feel like crap. It was so pathetic. I sat in the doorway, struggling to untie my shoes. Frustrated and annoyed, I ripped them off without untying the laces, and threw them across the room. It was just my luck for my shoe to bounce up and hit the small end table near the couch, knocking the plant off.

The vase holding it shattered when it made contact with the hardwood floors. I walked over and sat in front of them mess I accidentally made, just staring at the broken glass and dirt everywhere. I looked at the poor plant, and tears sprung in my eyes. It wasn't as though I had injured a person, but my anger caused me to kill the plant. It didn't deserve that...it was my fault this plant was going to die now. My tears fell as I picked it up gingerly and laid it aside so that I could clean up the glass.

Carefully, I started to grabbed the chunks. My tears blurred my vision badly, though, and I grabbed a piece at the wrong angle. I felt it slice the skin on my palm open, and I dropped it instantly, wincing painfully. I wiped at my tears and started to cry harder. A few sobs escaped, and I heard a door open upstairs. My Mom was down in seconds, and she rushed over to me when she saw me.

"Nowaki, honey, what happened?" She got on her knees next to me as I cried. I didn't say anything, but it didn't take her long to notice the blood dripping from my hand. "Oh sweetheart, you should have used the broom to clean up the glass. Here, follow me." She took my hand and led me to the kitchen. She hurriedly got our first aid kit from the closet and set it on the counter next to me. She started pulling things out as I continued to cry.

"I-I'm sorry..." I stuttered. She looked at me frantically and said,

"For what honey? You only broke a vase. I'm not angry." She was trying to comfort me, but that wasn't what I meant.

"No..." I shook my head. "I'm sorry...f-for being so mean, and ignoring you, a-and...throwing your food away and..." A lot of what I was saying was starting to become incomprehensible and was making no sense. She took my face in her hands and gave me a sad look.

"Shhh, don't cry Nowaki. Calm down so you can talk to me..." Her voice was gentle. I tried my best, but it took me a moment to stop crying. When I finally did, I didn't say anything at first. I let her wash my hand off in the sink and lead me back to the counter to start applying disinfectant and other things.

"...I'm sorry about your vase." I apologized. "I threw my shoe and...and it hit the end table." I confessed. She nodded.

"I see..." She replied. "Why did you throw your shoe, though?" She asked.

"Well...I was frustrated, and I couldn't get the laces undone so I pulled them off and threw one because I was mad..." I explained. She smiled a little bit, like it was funny. It did sound sort of stupid...throwing my shoe because I was angry. Childish...

"Did something happen today at school that upset you?" She asked me. Naturally, I instantly put up a barrier and said,

"No..." Then it hit me that saying that would only bring me right back where I was before. Before she could give up, I started again. "Well..."

"This might sting." She warned me before dabbing the cut with rubbing alcohol. It did sting, but I did my best to keep from wincing in pain and held still. "So what happened?" She asked, reminding me to tell her. She placed a large band-aid over my cut after applying some antibacterial ointment, and then grabbed some gauze. After wrapping up my hand, she put everything back and waited.

"I..." Before I knew it, I had said, "...Nothing...it was nothing." I had pushed her away again, like I always did. I couldn't stop myself from shutting down...it was like I didn't have control anymore. She pulled me into a hug and let out a sigh. I could hear the sadness in it, and it brought more tears to my eyes.

Would I ever be able to be happy again?