A Moment Too Soon (Yaoi boyxboy)

Nowaki

I was right to stay home all last week. It was a lot easier to stay focused on my work this time around. It was a good thing, too, because we were actually starting to learn things this week. I scrawled down the notes that were on the board quickly, and then sat back a little. The classroom was quiet as people continued to write. It was quiet enough for me to hear the clock ticking.

I looked up at it. We still had another half an hour before lunch. I held back my sigh as I looked down at my paper again. Lunch...I had forgotten to bring the lunch my Mom made me pack. Probably because I wasn't used to grabbing it out of the fridge...I never brought a lunch with me. Last year I would always just buy chips and tea from the vending machines and eat that for lunch.

Until Kida started packing lunches for me. He was always worried about my health. A quiet, airy laugh escaped from me on accident as I thought about it. He was a strange kid...but still...No. No I shouldn't be thinking about it. I shook off those thoughts and my eyes found their way over to where Yuuichi was sitting. He was looking in my direction. Right at me, actually. We mad eye contact, and then he looked away quickly as if he were embarrassed that I had caught him staring at me.

Even after he looked away, I kept my eyes on him. Yuuichi wasn't like all of my other friends...he was actually more enjoyable to be around. For some reason, I felt a little more at ease when I was with him than the others. I wished he sat closer to me so that I could talk to him...even if we didn't really talk, it would just be nice to have him near.

Not only was he the kind of person I could feel comfortable around...he was actually kind of cute. He had the same structure as Kida, even though they had completely different looks. He was small and lean, unlike most of the guys at this school. Guys who were tall, like me, or too muscular...he was kind of just right.

I mentally slapped myself then. What was I thinking? Was it even okay for me to think things like that when I had just lost Kida 4 months ago? I felt...dirty. Like I was cheating, or like I was starting to think of those things a moment too soon...it felt wrong. I couldn't help it though. Those things just floated into my mind so smoothly that I almost didn't even notice it. Maybe it wasn't such a good thing that Yuuichi was easy to be around...

My mind was so flooded with thoughts that I hadn't even realized how much time had passed. The bell had rung, and I was brought back into reality by the rustling of the classroom packing up. I did the same, and stood with my bag over my shoulder. My friends approached me, along with Yuuichi. They all stood there, asking each other what they wanted to do, and where they wanted to go for lunch. Yuuichi just stuck to the side and chuckled at them as they discussed, giving no input. He didn't mind where he ate.

After a minute or two, they decided to just eat in the lunchroom. I really didn't want to go there. Even before all of this I wouldn't want to eat there. It was noisy and crowded and usually dirty because kids enjoyed throwing food around like animals. I held back my sigh though, and followed them out the door. They continued down the hall chatting about unnecessary things, and I stuck in the back. I'd heard enough when I walked into class this morning.

Yuuichi glanced back at me, and I stared at him, expressionless. He stopped walking next to the others and joined me in the back, just like before. It made me feel good to know I wouldn't have to walk alone back here. He gave me a smile as we walked, and I felt my stomach clench. It was a mixture of sadness and pleasure. Though it brought Kida to my mind, it was Yuuichi smiling...I couldn't choose whether or not I could stand to see it.

Just as the thought of Kida crossed my mind, we turned down the hallway where there was access to the roof. I felt my footsteps slowing already. I wanted to stop myself from going up to the roof, but I couldn't for some reason. There had to be something that I could do. I was going to lose this fight with myself, I knew that much. I didn't want to go to the lunchroom, that I knew for sure. I felt my body stop in front of the stairs.

Before I even realized what I was doing, I had grabbed Yuuichi's arm, and was running up the stairs with him.